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Dianna

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  1. This is my first holiday since the loss of my partner Nancy, who passed away Christmas Eve, 2008. I spent 21 years with her and 21 YEARS OF HOLIDAYS. I just don't know if I can do this without her. We didn't have many friends but the ones we had are tried to be understanding but they aren't. They can't begin to comprehend what is is like without their loved one with them especially after that length of time. So many thoughts go through my head but I still have our 3 dogs who, without them, I would have really been lost. I read many other topices in the section of Hospice online and I can relate to many of them. I am just so tired, physically and mentally, trying to make a new life for myself. Many people think I should sell the house that we have lived in for 16 years and move to something smaller and without memories. Nancy died, unexpectedly, at home from a heart attack. I can't just leave that!! I feel she is with me in the house and, for now, that is important. I get tired of making decisions, facing situations and trying to figure out what to do with an given situation. All I ask is that I make it through the holidays in one piece. Thank goodness I work full time. If I didn't work, I think I would drive myself crazy. Oh well, on with life. At least I know that I can express my feelings when I need to. Thank you all for listening. Happy holidays, Nancy.
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