chowlvr

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I know how the emptiness feels as I had to put my "child" to sleep 2 weeks ago. Even though he is physically gone, I still sense his presence around me from time to time. And even though your baby is physically gone, I am sure he is still with you. Your other babies will feel a sense of loss as well and you may notice them wanting more attention than usual. I'm no expert by any means, just drawing on my own experiences of late. Betty-Lou

I am very sorry to hear about your losses and I wish I could say that it gets easier but it never really does. You will always feel an absence. The pain is not as severe or gut wrenching as time goes on. I lost my brother Nov. 21, 2001, the day before Thanksgiving. He was only 51, 3 weeks shy of his 52nd birthday. He had not been sick at all and died suddenly of a massive heart attack. It was a tremendous shock to our family and friends and it took me months to be able to function normally again. I eventually ended going through counseling, which helped me sort out my emotions. I could not focus on my relationship with my boyfriend at the time and all I could think about were the things that my brother and I would never be able to do again. I felt as though a part of me was missing. For the longest time I spoke about him as though he were still alive. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that he had died. I still miss him and think about him much of the time.

I recently had to have my dog, my "four-legged child" put to sleep. It was the most difficult decision I have yet to make in my 34 years. I am not married and have no children so Belial was my life for 13 years and I loved him dearly. There wasn't much I wouldn't do for him. It is very hard to stop asking all the "what if" questions since the vets were just as baffled as to why he was not responding to treatment. I also keep wondering what else could I have done to get him to eat. Beyond force feeding him, and that was not really an option, what else could I have done to make him eat? And I also have a hard time forgiving myself for not holding him as he slipped away. I did not want to have any regrets about that day. I was in the same room with him and kneeling in front of him but I looked away as they gave the shot and when I turned back around, he was already gone. I had no idea it would be that instantaneous. Belial was very special to me, he was my pride and joy. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. He was my beautiful baby boy. He was the first thing I would see in the morning and the last thing before I went to bed. I always hugged him, told him I loved him, and kissed him goodnight. If pets can be our soulmates just as humans are, then Belial was definitely my soulmate. Regardless of what life has sent my way in the past, as long as I had Belial I was okay. I know that time does help heal all wounds, but what else can I do or how can I forgive myself. I just really wish he could have told me I was doing the right thing. I miss him so much and I know I was very lucky to have such a sweet child. As much as I would love to have another Chow, I feel like I would be betraying him or belittle ling what he meant to me. I am also having a hard time with the route I chose to go with having him cremated, as far as the service goes. The veterinarian hospital he always went to referred me to a service that it takes a week or so to get back the remains, and my concern is whether or not I get my dog back. I don't think I will rest easy until I get Belial back home with me. I'm not use to being away from him for long periods of time. I just never really thought I would have to be without him. Even though I have a kitty, named Max, who also misses his brother Belial, it is just not the same. There was something about Belial that kept me drawn to him. He really was my life and I just don't know how to go on, knowing it will be many years before I can see him again. My heart hurts so much sometimes that I can't breathe, and I feel very nauseated. Is that normal, to feel that strongly? Betty-Lou