facesdaughter

I am so sorry you are feeling this pain. I, too, lost my mother only weeks ago. My whole life I worried about losing a parent and when it actually happened it was as if it hadn't happened. I still feel as though she can't really be gone. Our grief is new and strange. I am too young to be without my mother. She was only 65. We can only turn to our friends, family and belief system to help us through this most difficult time. I am planning on seeking counseling from a therapist when my wedding and honeymoon are over in two weeks. I think therapy, belief in God and support of those around us will help to ease the anxiety and fear we are feeling at this moment. Please know that you are not alone in this terrible time. Theresa

James-thank you for your kind words. I have gone to the library and checked out several books. I called my church to inquire about grief counseling. They group they sent me to does not work with those who have lost parents...so frustrating. I can meet with our Deacon anytime I would like, but I was really looking for a support group. When the wedding is over, I plan on finding a therapist for myself. Each day is different for me. I cry every day, but some days feel better than others. It's just such a strange feeling all the time. I am so sorry for your loss, and for all of us on this site. It's a sad bond to have. I am thankful to hear the stories of everyone else and know that I am not alone.

Thank you both so much for your encouraging words. I need to hear this is normal and people understand. Grief is lonely.

My mother died only 12 days ago. It's still so fresh and unreal to me, yet people are already expecting me to 'return to normal.' It's interesting how people ask, "How are you?" with the hope you will answer, "I'm good". People don't want to hear another answer. You can see it in their faces, hear it in their voices, they want you to be ok so they can return to their happy lives. It's as if my grief might ruin their day. My mother died unexpectedly two days after Thanksgiving. My fiance and I were at my parent's home for the weekend and I heard my mom throwing up. I got out of bed to see if she was fine and she said that dinner had upset her stomach. I returned to bed. A few hours later, I heard her open the bedroom door and tell my father she needed to go to the hospital. We called 911. They took over 15 minutes to get to our house. My mother was spitting up blood and unable to breathe at this point. In less than 10 hours she had died. There was no real diagnosis, but we were left with the idea that her diabetes is what was to blame for her body shutting down. My last memories of my mother are of her wheezing for air as two bumbling idiots tried to work an oxygen tank and then later sponging off her lips because she was on a ventilator and wanted a drink of water. I miss her. I miss her so much it physically hurts. My chest feels tight, my head feels dizzy, I can't remember something said to me two minutes ago. This is pain. The worst part of this entire experience is that my mom died three weeks before my wedding. I am getting married in 9 days. My dad insists we go on with the wedding. Of course I want to be married, but I do not want to have a party. People keep telling me it will be the best day of my life and I will have so much fun. These are the same people who hope for the answer, "I'm good." I'm not good. I don't want a party. I want my mom back.