wolfwoman

Dear Michelle, I read your heartbreaking story about losing your best friend. I, too lost my little fur baby 4 weeks ago today. We don't know what happened but, the vet tech said she probably had a blockage from something she had eaten. She had started vomiting (she was not even able to hold down water) on Friday and by Sunday we had lost her. There was nothing we could do. She found the strength to get up on the love seat and that's where she always laid, that's where she took her last breath. Our vet tech came and injected her with fluids but, soon after she slipped into a coma. She left us at 4:00 pm. letting her go was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. As I'm writing this I am crying uncontrolably. I miss my little Star. She wasn't quite a year old. I know what you mean about having a hole in your heart because I have one in mine, too. I miss her so much. It is comforting to know that we were with her until she took her last breath but, I find myself wondering why she was taken from us so suddenly. I kept praying for God to heal her but, now I'm asking Him to heal us. I posted pictures of her on facebook which has helped. That way I can look at her every day. I dedicated "In the Arms of the Angels" by Sara Mcglohlin to her on facebook. In that way I can honor her. Star was our little "wild child" and she brought so much life into our home and our lives. Everybody keeps telling me that "things will get better with time" but, I wonder how much time it will take. My husband is very supportive and he understands when I start crying. I keep waiting for the crying to stop but, it hasn't, yet. I listen for Star to "knock" on the door wanting in. I miss her standing on top of me in the mornings wanting to go outside. I wish I could tell you when you will feel better but, I am wondering that myself. All I can tell you is that the pain is real. You need to stay away from people who don't understand and sympathize with you. I have hurt so bad that I called the pet loss grief counselling center in IL and they let me cry and let me talk to them about Star. They sent me a packet of poems and information that has helped a lot. Their # is 1-877-394-2273. They are with the University of IL and they are open from 7pm to 9pm on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. I understand what you are going through and I am here for you if you ever want to talk. My # is 601-847-1746. I think it helps so much to find someone to talk who really knows what you are going through. Cynthia Warren

Thank you Marty for responding to my letter about Star. It's been 2 weeks tomorrow since she died and I'm still not doing any better. Most people don't understand why I'm so upset still. They think it's only an animsl and I shouldn't be feeling this bad. I don't want to eat and I just mope around the house like I'm lost. Last night I had a dream that she came back and my husband woke me up because I was crying in my sleep. I feel like I have a hole in my heart that will never be filled. I keep thinking about how much life she brought to our family and I keep thinking about the way she died. It shouldn't have happened - it's not fair. How do I stop dwelling on this and move on with my life? Cynthia Warren

It's been a week ago yesterday since my little dog, Star girl died. She was not quite a year old. We think she had a blockage or parvo. She started getting sick on Sat. and couldn't even hold down water. It was so hard to watch her slowly slip away and be so helpless. She was the life of our family. We have 2 other dogs but, Star kept something going all the time. She was our "wild Child". She was part chow, bull terrier, and australian shephard. She was black except for a little white star on her neck. She was small but had long legs and pointed ears. We were with her right up to the end. I know she knew we loved her so much. My husband and I are having a really hard time getting over losing Star. I was so physically ill the next day I had to go to the ER for a phenegran shot. I can't stop thinking about her life and her death. I feel like the pain will never go away. I feel like I have a big hole in my heart and my stomach is up in my throat. I can't stop crying and I just don't know what to do without her in the house.