Dear Michelle,
I read your heartbreaking story about losing your best friend. I, too lost my little fur baby 4 weeks ago today. We don't know what happened but, the vet tech said she probably had a blockage from something she had eaten. She had started vomiting (she was not even able to hold down water) on Friday and by Sunday we had lost her. There was nothing we could do. She found the strength to get up on the love seat and that's where she always laid, that's where she took her last breath. Our vet tech came and injected her with fluids but, soon after she slipped into a coma. She left us at 4:00 pm. letting her go was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life.
As I'm writing this I am crying uncontrolably. I miss my little Star. She wasn't quite a year old. I know what you mean about having a hole in your heart because I have one in mine, too. I miss her so much. It is comforting to know that we were with her until she took her last breath but, I find myself wondering why she was taken from us so suddenly. I kept praying for God to heal her but, now I'm asking Him to heal us. I posted pictures of her on facebook which has helped. That way I can look at her every day. I dedicated "In the Arms of the Angels" by Sara Mcglohlin to her on facebook. In that way I can honor her.
Star was our little "wild child" and she brought so much life into our home and our lives. Everybody keeps telling me that "things will get better with time" but, I wonder how much time it will take. My husband is very supportive and he understands when I start crying. I keep waiting for the crying to stop but, it hasn't, yet. I listen for Star to "knock" on the door wanting in. I miss her standing on top of me in the mornings wanting to go outside.
I wish I could tell you when you will feel better but, I am wondering that myself. All I can tell you is that the pain is real. You need to stay away from people who don't understand and sympathize with you. I have hurt so bad that I called the pet loss grief counselling center in IL and they let me cry and let me talk to them about Star. They sent me a packet of poems and information that has helped a lot. Their # is 1-877-394-2273. They are with the University of IL and they are open from 7pm to 9pm on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday.
I understand what you are going through and I am here for you if you ever want to talk. My # is 601-847-1746. I think it helps so much to find someone to talk who really knows what you are going through.
Cynthia Warren