I am 38 years old and my Dad passed away on 12/20/09. He had suffered with heart problems for about 4 1/2 years and utlimately died of congestive heart failure.
I was very close to my Dad and had the opportunity to take family leave and be with him and my Mom for the last month and a half and we were with him when he passed away in a hospice facility. We were able to keep him at home with the help of hospice almost until the end. He was only in the hospice unit for a day and a half.
I am struggling a great deal and was wondering if someone could offer me an idea on how to handle the following situation.
The majority of my family is telling me that I should be upset, but my Mom has the harder side of the coin. They are saying I need to be there for my Mom and shouldn't let her know how upset I am; that it's not fair to her. Additionally, my aunt took it upon herself to recieve the information that my Dad's ashes were ready and to go and pick them up with consulting my Mother or myself as well as order a box for the ashes. I appreciate "the spirit" in which she did that, but I am terribly hurt that we (I) wasn't given the opportunity to accept/decline the chance of doing those last few things for my Dad.
I am very close to my Mom and I just don't know what to do. I am struggling with my grief and now I am shrouded with guilt too.
I am going to the support groups and have an appt. scheduled with a bereavement counselor too but I was hoping someone out there could offer some ideas.
Thanks!
