parrotlover

I'm a newcomer to this site. I started sobbing after reading some of the messages because I could identify with what I read. No one understands how you really truly feel inside unless they've been through it. I lost my husband a little over 6 months ago to duodenal cancer (very rare). He was a very young 62 and extremely handsome. We were soul mates. He was the most wonderful person I've ever known and I am having such a difficult time with all this. We were married 17 years, but together close to 20 years. I am 51 years old and feel like I have to start my life all over. I still have his clothes hanging in my closet - I can't bear to pack them up. It would be like getting rid of him completely. It's weird because I know he's not coming back, but I just can't take his clothes off the hangers. I still smell his shirts - sometimes I even sleep with one. I try to be busy. My friends are great - they make sure I'm busy and try to keep me involved, but at some point, you are alone again. I cry every day and night and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I still haven't called back people that have written me or called me to see if I'm okay. I just don't want to talk about it because it's just too sad. I also hate it when people ask me how I'm doing. I know they are just trying to be nice, but stop asking me that! How do you think I'm doing after losing my husband; my bestfriend of nearly 20 years! People don't know what to say. I really hate it when they say "He's in a better place." Or the worst is, "Don't worry, you'll see him again some day in heaven" I don't care about that right now - I miss him too much to think about seeing him 20 years or so from now! I even had a woman say "Don't worry, you are an attractive woman, you'll find someone else". What are they thinking! I am hoping this site helps me and I hope to help others. Thanks for listening!