Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

suzie

Members
  • Posts

    2
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    02/27/85
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA
  1. I am so sorry you are going through this. I also lost my brother, and it is still hard to breathe when certain things trigger a memory. Just know that there are people here who are listening and who care, who have been through it and that you are not alone. Yes, there will be many tears and difficult days. Hang in there. Keep talking to people who also loved your brother and don't keep it closed up. I know for me, it helps to talk about the good memories of my brother, too. I am thinking about you and wishing you peace. I am sending you a very big hug from one sister to another. Suzie
  2. My brother, Jeff, and I were like twins growing up: 17 months apart and inseparable, even though there were 6 siblings in our family. When I was 25 and he was 26, he died of Kaposis' Sarcoma, due to AIDS. It was a big shock, not that I didn't know he was gay, he'd come out to me years before and of course since we were close, he knew I accepted him and loved him, but I hadn't even known he was sick until shortly before he was diagnosed. He died only days after being diagnosed. He was in so much pain. It was terrible. I can't even tell you how bad it was to be with him those last days. I was with him the day he died and that last picture is in my head forever. Still, I'm glad I could be there when he was in the hospital to comfort him. I didn't grieve hardly at all, I was going through a divorce at the time and had a two year old and a baby, was working full time. My parents pretended he didn't have AIDS and told their friends he just died of cancer. The other siblings don't talk about him. (This is how I was raised, you don't talk about intense feelings much.) So...I put a lot of these painful feelings away, and didn't realize until this past year, when I was going through other stresses, that there was even something called delayed grief. The pain has been overwhelming. I am going through counseling with a really good therapist who is helping, but I am dreading my brother's death anniversary date that is coming up February 27th. It is always an extremely difficult month for me. I am especially dreading it this year. I had been doing better with a depression lately but the past two days I started crying just thinking about my brother. I miss him so much. He was my best friend in the world and no one can ever replace him. On top of everything else, I have guilt feelings that I didn't do enough to help him get diagnosed earlier, since I am a nurse. It has been so many years since he died but it feels like just yesterday.
×
×
  • Create New...