Trina

It has been a little over a month since I lost my 'Scilla. I am still pretty much a mess. I have finally stopped crying every waking moment, but I still find it hard to deal with. There are times when I see something of hers and I remember something and it sets me off. I am still dealing with husband thinking I am nuts and my Dad as well. My Dad, whom I have a wonderful relationship with, keeps telling me that she was just a cat and therefore replaceable. I gently remind him that it is not that way with me. I did adopt another kitty, a year old calico/tortie mix. She's a sweetheart. She's also a very funny little girl! Her crazy antics put a smile on my face at times. But even still, I long for my love. Daphne and I are becoming very close. My husband, at first, was rather jealous of the bond between Daph and I. I mean, we were grieving together, what did he expect?? But he finally agreed that Daph was both our girl and doesn't have his fits of jealousy anymore. I just miss 'Scilla. Plain and simple. I was hoping that in a month's time it would be easier. It is in some ways, but not a lot in most. I can only hope that when I die that we will be reunited.

I am so overwhelmed with grief. My Priscilla Sue died on Friday. It was completely unexpected. She had seizures and was being treated for them. Wednesday night, I came home from a concert and found her in my son's room making this moaning noise. I gave her some meds and she still made that noise and seemed as if she could not walk. I called the vet and he was unsure at that point what to do and was going to consult with a Veterinary Neurologist to see what we should do, but warned me that I may need to start making decisions. Thursday night, she still seemed lethargic, would not eat (even tuna! Her favorite thing!) and would only drink if I gave it to her via her med syringe. I held her the entire night wrapped in an old baby blanket with a towel around her bum since she wet herself a few times. She seemed more like a doll than my sweetheart. I was going to have her put to sleep Friday. So, I wanted her to know that I loved her so very much. I put her in her bed around 10:30 that morning and took a nap since I had been up all night holding her. Around 11:30, my husband woke me up and told me she had passed. I have been crying ever since. 'Scilla was the everything of everything I have ever wanted in a cat. She LOVED to snuggle. We snuggled all the time. We spent every waking hour together and even slept snuggling. My marriage has been failing for quite sometime, so I am in a completely different room and bed than my husband. My room was 'Scilla's as well. My bed was 'Scilla's too. My kids joked and called her my wife because we spent so much time together snuggling. And in a way, she was. All my hopes, dreams (good or bad), fears and deep secrets were shared with her. When I needed love and affection, she was there. 'Scilla would stroke my face ever so gently with her paw. She made me feel so loved and wanted. She would do that not only to get back under the covers, but also "just because" when we were snuggling. I miss her so much. My husband thinks I am nuts. He constantly tells me to get the "F" over it and that she was a stupid cat. I hate him for that. He does not understand. It seems no one does. The most support I have received during this is from her littermate Daphne. Daphne has been at my side through all of this. I love Daphne. She's funny and very sweet. But she is not my 'Scilla. I am in so much pain. I loved her that much. I cannot just get over it like my husband says.