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Jewellbud

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Everything posted by Jewellbud

  1. Deb625, I know how u feel. It is almost a year for me...the sobbing does get better. I am so sorry 4 ur loss just like I am so sorry for my own. Light & peace Dreena
  2. First of all let me thank you for responding. I did not know people wrote back. I was shocked to get a reply from u & another wonderful lady. I realize how much RJ's death has affected all of my life. His family's behavior I have found just despicible. Those of u who have felt the sting of the family ping understand how dreadful it feels to know that that little granchild that u feed bottles to & spent every holiday with r not a part of ur life now. I must b a slow learner also...cause I just do not get it. Tears flow like a waterfall everyday since his death. There is a constant lump in my throat. The aftermath of RJ's death has been unbelieveable. I wish I could miss the pain as much as I miss him. Light & Peace
  3. It is amazing to me that it will be one year in a few days that my loved one left this earth. I have had such a transition of my whole being this year. Not only did i loose my partner of 10 years, but I lost his family also. I have not heard from any of them for this year. Life is complicated. Life left over for the loved one who is left...sucks. Maybe I expect those who have professed to love my man, who were our friends, & his, to act like they care for the shell of the person who has been ravished by his death. I tell people that I am finding my new normal. What will normal be again? Will their be a normal? What is normal anyhow. Grief is such a powerful emotion. You have to belong to that exclusive club to feel & experience it. The Death Club. The club of the most unusual pains & cruelities. I now know what it truly means to be in a "fog". I know I have made many mistakes being in the fog...but maybe that is part of finding my new normal...Learning from my mistakes. Somedays I yell...why does it all have to be so hard. I walk everyday...my walk has not gotten any easier thi s year either. Why does it have to be so hard!!! I just want my path to be revealed to me. I started a hospice grief group in the area where I live. I guess it helps. Everyone is in the same club. i have so many life questions that had all been answered in my life before death. Now at 62 I am reevaluating every rock I have kicked in my path of life. This is not the way retirement is ment to be. The questions that keep coming up are the same: Why? Why? Why? This is not the club I signed up for...but yet I am in the Death Club. One year later..the pain is the same. Light & peace DA of the East Bay, Ca.
  4. Hi Teny. I just told a friend who lost his wife last March, and myself who lost my partner of 10 years in July...that we r an exclusive club of one step forward and a thousand tears back. I do not think we should ever apologize 4 feeling the pain of having so much love in our hearts for our loss. Death changes everything in our realm...death leaves no emotional stone unturned. U my dear r just as normal as the rest of us who r trying to learn our new normals in life. I feel like I have changed just like the earth's axis did with the earthquake in Chili. Just like that change...who knows what it means. But this I know...I am forever on a path of change & so are u. Keep the Faith DAJewellbud
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