Dear Past Midnite. Sorry you can't sleep.
Your right it is very difficult going through the nursing part but I as well would not wanted any one else there in my stead. I like you have been having a hard time not reliving it most of the time but it is getting a little easier as the days go by. I'll never forget the look on his face when I had to change his diapers or bathe him or administer drugs but I feel that he was a lot more comfortable with me doing it rather than strangers & he got to be in a house rather than a hospital. Sorry to hear that you had multiple deaths to deal with, that must have been almost unbearable.
I am being careful not to get too close to the female involved as as you stated that would only further complicate the issue & it is exactly what my wife is concerned with the most (I talked with here & got the real story) It is hard for her to see me find comfort in any female & I know that it is a natural reaction. I am faithful & intend to remain faithful to the end. One woman is enough for me or any man as far as I am concerned. It may have looked to my wife that we were getting too close & the woman in mention does not have the greatest reputation either. So keeping that in mind I am keeping my distance as best as I can without hurting either of their feelings.
I am still hurt & feel a loss that I know can never be replaced but life goes on, work goes on & love goes on. Alas I still go on. Wish you well dealing with your pain, thanks for writing me. Joe.