Matt's Sister

My little brother died on Friday 03/26/2010. He was 28 years old and had only been in the hospital for 8 days. Like your brother, the doctors are thinking that he had H1N1 but we won't know for sure until the autopsy results come back. It is just surreal. We all thought that he would get better. But the pneumonia would not get better and modern medicine was not helping. The hardest part is thinking how it all had to end. He had been hooked up to a ventilator in a medically induced coma then shortly after placed on an oscillator and paralyzed the week that he died. It just hurts my heart to think of the suffering his body endured. And it hurts so bad that I wasn't there to speak to him before they placed him on a ventilator. I have been trying to make peace with all that has happened but the sadness and grief sometimes just takes over. So I grieve and I pray that Jesus help me through this because I can't go through this alone. My mom and (other) brother try to stay strong for me but my friends and my husband don't know what to say or what to do. I try to keep it together when my son is with me but sometimes I can't hide that I am mourning. The helplessness that me, my other brother and mother felt during that time in the hospital ICU was overwhelming so I had to give my cares and worries to God. The only thing that is getting us through this is our faith. My brother has a personal relationship with Jesus and I know without a shadow of a doubt that he is okay and that we will see each other again one day. I am not sure why his life here on earth was cut so short or what God's plan is; but my hope is that somehow God be glorified. I feel this way because of the peace and assurance I have in knowing that my brother lives; because of Jesus' death and resurrection we now have the promise that even though our body dies we will still live (John 11:25). I lost my dad (age 60) on 06/11/08. Dad had been sick for awhile and I wasn't ready to let him go either but with time it is getting easier and I know it will get easier to cope with the loss of my sweet brother; but it is so hard and I am just taking it one day at a time. Take Care.