You know, I am sorry to say but I couldn't even read your post because these types of situations upset me so much. I am a huge cat lover and have taken care of so many strays....and have lost so many that did not come home. So forgive me, but I can't read your post (especially right now, lol) but want you to know I am sorry if you lost your kitty. I know that is so devastating. I used to feel like a freak because I got so upset over these things; people actually used to MAKE FUN of me for it!!! Now, I just feel like it is what makes ME ME!! The other day one of my "outside" kitties didn't come around like usual and I thought we had lost him. Just recent I lost another one that never came home. Sometimes it is better just to "not know". I have had it the other way around where they come home injured or very sick and then can't get them in a kitty carrier! That is horrible! Anyway, my sympathies are with you. Take care!
