Olivia

Thank you and im very sorry for you're loss x

Im 26 and was engaged to my amazing fiance who i had been with since i was 13yrs old. I gave birth to our daughter when i was 16 and she was the apple of his eye. My fiance was a musician in a band and he would write me songs or write music for our daughter. I love him so much, everytime i seen him i fell more in love with him more. Last year my world came crashing down when he died of a heroin overdose, I tried to make him stop many times but he always told me he could handle it and he never used around our daughter, It was only a few months before he died that he started using heroin and i hated him for doing it. I never grieved for him and everyone says part of me died with him, I feel like i have lost my will to live. I started to write poetry about him and it gives me an outlet, Our daughter always mentions her daddy and listens to his music. I lay awake at night staring into space or break down crying and i feel like there is a huge hole in my heart. When he passed i took his last name and now use it. I find it hard to see his parents but my daughter is still close to them. I feel like a ghost of a person i was when i was with him.I don't even want to talk to my family or friends about what happened i feel like im in denial, He was the love of my life and i don't know how to life without him.