Delinda

I am sorry for your loss. It is a horrible feeling. All of the hopes, dreams and plans are shattered. I really feel your pain. All of the same emotions and thoughts you have, I have them too. Most days I feel sick in my stomach. I feel so alone with my pain. I am new to this group also. Although sometimes I can't even finish a thought or type a sentence. My best friend, love of my life died suddenly on 4/23/10. I only had him for 8 years. I wasn't finished with him. I am 44, my Joe was 57. People keep telling me I am too young to stop living and loving and in time I will move on. I know people are trying to help they just don't know what to say. I'm like you, it's difficult to move on.

Thanks for responding. I really am too sad to think. I don't even know if I'm doing these posts correctly. I can't understand the instructions. I drive places and don't remember it at all because my mind is always on Joe. I sleep, but dream about him. The pain seems to be getting worse. Everyone keeps saying time will heal you. I really want to scream and say the only thing that will heal me is for my handsome Joe to come back!

Thank you Kat for your kind words. I am sorry for your loss. It is a terrible feeling isn't it? I do know I did everything I could for Joe. Deep down I think his sons know that too. When they will allow themselves to think back on the past 6 months I think they will regret their actions & words. My handsome Joe was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation in August 09. He then had a blood clot in his kidney in November. He spent a week in the hospital with me by his side not knowing then if he was going to live through it. I carried him 3 times for cardioversions (shock to his heart) over the past 6 months. I really tried to save him.

My boyfriend of 8 years died suddenly 5 weeks ago. I don't know how to function without him. The guilt, saddness, frustration, pain and loss overwhelm me. We were not married. We lived together and were very much like a married couple. His 2 sons have excluded me. His sons know very well how much we loved each other. Why does death make humans so greedy and insensitive? Joe and I had big plans for the summer. Jimmy Buffet concert tickets, an all inclusive trip to Jamaica, both events have came and gone with out me & Joe. He is the love of my life. Nobody will ever make me feel the way he made me feel.