slinkybink
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About slinkybink
- Birthday 04/07/1969
Previous Fields
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Date of Death
May 26, 2010
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Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
na
Profile Information
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Your gender
Female
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Location (city, state)
South Carolina
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Took yesterday and today off of work just because. Glad I did...knew I was exhausted, but had no idea I was THIS exhausted. My internal alarm always gets me up by no later than 7am...yesterday I awoke at 830am and this morning it was 845am. My body and mind is definitely tired. Yesterday I put on some internet radio...piano solos and just relaxed and read my grief healing books. My dad's dad (Grandpa) called at about 6pm, and from then until bedtime I could not quit crying. I had no idea I was keeping so much pent up inside me. It felt good to get it out, and my husband was great...just held me until I fell asleep. Still feel a bit raw this morning, but better. Eyes are puffy as you know what though....ugh. I wrote a letter to my dad telling him how angry I was about how he just up and left me and Angie like he did and how we were all supposed to do fun things together this summer and now we couldn't. Part of me feels relieved to get that out and part of me feels guilty for getting on him like that. I know anger is a normal part of the grieving process...but WOW...I am REALLY angry! It's no wonder I am so tired.
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Has Anyone Had To Fight An Old Will
slinkybink replied to Deb625's topic in Loss of a Parent or Grandparent
I am so sorry to hear you have this road of fighting ahead of you as well as the grieving. I have not personally had to deal with this, though my husband did have to fight family members of a friend over a will. However, it was the way the language of the will that was contested by the family that was fought...not that the will was old. It was still a mess, and still added alot of unnecessary stress to an already sad situation. Like niamh said, you have a lawyer, let them handle the legalities, they will contact you when they need something. In the meantime, you concentrate on you and taking care of yourself. Sending you {{HUGS}} and strength. -
Beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing.
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All I can say...beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
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6 Months And It Still Seems Like Yesterday.
slinkybink replied to The_Animal's topic in Loss of a Parent or Grandparent
My condolences to you on the loss of your dad. I lost mine May 26, 2010...only 1 month ago, suddenly and unexpectedly to a massive heart attack...he was only 63 and in excellent health. Only concerns...he had high cholesterol issues, but was controlled, so we and his doctor thought, on meds, and he did watch what he ate and he exercised daily. I agree with niamh...I too think those people mean well with those comments. They simply do not know what else to say and feel they should just say something. I am reading and almost done with a fantastic book which deals with sudden death...I Wasn't Ready To Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing after the Sudden Death of a Loved One by Brook Noel & Pamela D. Blair, PHD. Awesome book written by 2 women who have both loved and lost suddenly themselves. This book also touches on the subject of dealing with what to say and not to say to the bereaved...so a good read for those who are trying to support others as well. You can also get the workbook to go along with it to help with how to survive after your loss. Hang in there The_Animal. I know very well your pain. {{HUGS}} -
We Had The Memorial Service Last Friday
slinkybink replied to Aquarius7's topic in Loss of a Parent or Grandparent
{{HUGS}} I am glad your mom's service went well. I know what you mean about seeing who your, and her real friends are. However, we need to try to remember that we all grieve differently and know that sometimes no matter how hard we try, attending these types of things are very difficult for some people. I was also disappointed in some that did not attend my dad's service...yet some have more than made up for that since, in support of me or for my step-mom, and some have not. Who really knows why people make the choices they make in times like these? Saturday will be 1 month, and things still move in slow-motion for me too. {{HUGS}} -
Oh, and YES...Father's Day! My husband's mother, God love her, was talking to me on the phone Monday night about a cookout the family was having for the "father's" of the family this weekend at Scott's middle brother's house. She kept going on, and on, and on about Father's Day. If I could have reached through the phone I would have choked her! I FINALLY was able to cut her off to express my hurt. She was "so sorry", but then said, "So do you think you will come"? I plan to attend church...although I KNOW that will be a hard one...the sermon will undoubtedly be about fathers in one way or the other. I would imagine that will about be enough for me.
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Thank you all so much for your condolences and your sharing of your stories. Although I know this is something I know that only I can go through and is personal to me, all of your words are helpful. My condolences to each of you on your losses as well. Today has actually been an ok day for both me and my step-mom. We walked for about 90 minutes this morning, we both ate a bit of lunch...though mine has already run through me. Went through today's mail of many sympathy cards and manged to make it through those ok. My husband is headed to our home from work and will be taking a shower there, then heading here. I think I might try to eat our normal fish camp Friday meal tonight...see how long that will stay. I'm hoping to talk my step-mom into going with us, though I doubt she will. She has kind of enjoyed some quiet time with her 2 cats each night while Scott and I go eat dinner. She watches the news and pets the cats. Again, thank you all for the welcome and condolences. I won't be a stranger. Here is a picture of Mine and Hubby's wedding with Dad and Step-mom...we were an awesome 4-some always!
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Wanted to add...I am not alone in this and am not a spring chicken. I do have a wonderful husband and am 41 years old. The neighbors and dad and step-mom's church friends have also lent shoulders to me as well...I just still feel lost.
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I lost my dad to a massive heart attack Wednesday, May 26, 2010. He was 63 and had been retired and lovin' it for 13 months. My step-mom and friend was, thank goodness, home with him when it happened. They had gone for their morning walk as normal. When they came back, dad complained of a bad headache and of being somewhat nauseated. He then even said his left arm felt like it wanted to go numb, which my step-mom said she knew was a classic sign...but even at her asking persistently, my bull-headed dad insisted he was fine and it was not necessary to seek medical attention...that is the way our side of the family is unfortunately. After taking 2 aspirin, he was feeling better and they started loading some clothes in the truck to take to Goodwill. After one load, my Step-mom said he called out to her for help and slumped over gasping. She immediately called 911, and they walked her through how to do chest compressions, but I think his death was immediate and God had simply decided he needed this good man by His side on this day. That all being said, I have been staying with my step-mom for the last week, making sure she is ok...and basically avoiding feeling what I need to feel and get out. Yesterday, I went to his gravesite and I think I finally have begun to let go of some of my feelings. Not sure how to deal with anything. My dad was so young and VERY full of life. He was always smiling and quick with a joke. He had a zest for life not seen in alot of people these days. He had been a workaholic but slid so easily into retirement and loved it. Kept busy, exercised, and enjoyed it all. Dad and my step-mom had just returned from their 1st ever cruise (for their 24th anniversary), 3 days before his death. I think of things we did together and it rips me up inside to think of not ever doing those things again, or not hearing his voice again. I am already on an antidepressant, and my doctor did call out something to help me sleep, which I definitely needed. I am having trouble eating, food I do eat runs right through me and I have lost 9lbs in the last week...not that I don't need to lose weight...but this is not a healthy way to do it. I'm really having more trouble with this than I originally thought. Any advice or words of wisdom? Thank you, ~Kim Jerry Neel 11/24/46 - 5/26/2010 Father, Daughter and God...Picture taken on Ocracoke Island, NC June 2009