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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Alison

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  • Posts

    5
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Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    May 21st, 2010
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA
  1. Thanks Niamh, Thats all one needs sometimes is someone to say "I'll listen" I am grateful to have found this board and to be able to support and share my thoughts.
  2. I am so angry that my mom isn't here to celebrate my nephew's 2nd birthday or that the present I got him wasn't good enough to say more 2 words about. That my sister in law gets to call her parents and talk to them... I am angry that I just don't fit anywhere right now. I have hit the bottom and there is no where else to go.
  3. Hi Donny, I understand very well the pain and anger you are feeling. I had a similiar experience with my relatives coming into my mother's house and taking what they wanted and packing their cars up and driving out of our lives. Not a call, nothing. The same anger wells up in me almost every day now that its been a little over a month since my mother passed. I have the same questions on why they did what they did and disturbed the things that become treasured to us when our loved one is gone. I am not going to say time this, or time that. Not going to say farther down the road you will understand why. I will say that as you go down this road, that we who are here on this board support you and really care what your feeling. Keep posting, I will say that you need to do what is best for you.. whatever it is. I wish you comfort and peace.
  4. Thank you all for your replies that were so needed and welcomed.. Today was my day of crying in the shower, and telling myself just get through this minute, this hour, and it will be alright. FOr me, the why did this happen is not a key question. I know she will have no more pain, no more cold and no more emotional pain. The question for me is "How long will the debilitating, isolating part last and I know there is no answer until farther down the road. I have been the one to look after her in her depressive and bi-polar times and now I find myself saying " Now what to do I do?" The answer always comes back.. Live... Live your life with the same adeventurous spirit she had.. but I am not ready to face that anytime soon. I make pilgrimages over to her house and find peace in each room. Its stuff, her stuff but its become sacred now. I had my realatives aunts and uncles who were staying there and they ransacked the place looking for what they could find and packed up their cars without asking any of us kids they came, they took, they left with not a word since. Not a I was thinking of you.. Nothing.. I have become a leper that no one seems to want to be around. That's fine. I spent one morning going through my mother's clothes that they had packed in garbage bags and stacked in the living room.. pulled off all the pictures from the walls and when I saw that it was like they had ripped my mother from my already broken heart again. The sacredness of the house I lived in with her was gone. I did her room I felt it was my duty as her daughter and I had to do it. I am sure they thought they were helping but they did'nt think. I am the most angry about that. I will in time maybe ask them why they did it? I don't think I want to even hear the answer right now. I don't want some answer like " we thought we would help with the more difficult tasks" Difficult.. whats difficult is the LACk of respect for the things my mother treasured and you just treated with as much respect as if you had punched me in the face. I need to go for a walk.. thank your listening and god bless.
  5. I have read a few of postings on this board and my heart and sympathy is with everyone who is in the eye of the storm right now. I find myself here to rather unprepared and looking around and wondering "What do I do now?" I lost my mother 2 months after my wedding in March on May 21st 2 months to the day I said goodbye to her in the airport. my somewhat secure world shattered into several pieces I have faith only God will put back together when I get through this. I have taken the isolation and seclusion path communing with her at her house and secretly crying in the bathroom away from my small nephews and family. I find myself in just about every and any stage of grief there is in my day but what makes it worse is that I am seperated from my husband back in the states and I am in Canada. My paperwork was in process and Us Customs wouldnt let me back through because of red tape. My hope is be with him by Christmas when I will need him the most. I know how debilitating grief is when it gets you and shakes you so violently you can't breath or when it sneaks up on you doing the most mundane thing. Even in my stuboorness, and pride I know this is too big for me and I need help and support. So I reach out hoping there is someone on the other end. "You can't heal a wound by saying its not there" Jer 6:14
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