susavi

I am thankful for this chat room and I want to thank you for all your kind words and to let you know we all feel the same pain and can share the sorrow with people who love their pets. I really miss Suzie but she is longer in any pain looking at me saying it hurts with her eyes. She is running now at the side of my husband and her friend Cleo

3 years ago I had to put my Lab down with cancer of the lungs. Yesterday I had to put my shepard down because she had very bad arthirittis in her back and she was no longer able to walk had to carry her everywhere. Had both of the dogs for 11 years. Suzie the shepard was my very constant companion as I lost my husband 18 months ago. This was a very hard thing to do but she was suffering and I am not one to allow this to happen she was there for me when I needed some comfort and I was there when she needed comfort at the end. Now the 3 of them are together again going over the rainbow bridge, playing and running and watching over me. Have fun you guys and I will be thinking of you always

Today was my 41 wedding anniversary and here I sit alone. I am numb and still in a state of utter confusion. It has been 14 months since my husband died and I just feel so alone. We have been together since I was 14 and we married at 18 so he was my one and only. 6 years into our marriege he became disabled and I took care of him till he died in my arms 14 months ago. Since then my daughter has moved in with me so I would not be alone but I am lonely and longing for just one more kiss, one more hug or one more smile. Our journey together was hard and very trying but not one minute would I change. Now tommorrow is my husband's birthday more tears and more loneliness. The only thing that is giving me peace at this time is that he suffered for 35 years till his body said no more and God said no more and called him to a place where he would know comfort and peace. So here on my anniversary and on his birthday tomorrow I just want to say I love you and you are in my heart and I will survive

I too am going through the one year days One year 7-22-2010 was when I lost my best friend, my lover, my husband. I have not accomplished much in this past year I have just been existing. I have my very emotional moments and then I think about all the good times and there were many. I talk to my husband everyday sometimes lovingly and sometimes angryly. He suffered 34 years with his illness and I know in my mind he can now be free of all the pain, but my heart is still breaking. I miss him terribly and always will. But I know I had him with me for 45 years he loved me deeply and he wants me to see the grandchildren grow up and get married or do whatever they are going to do and I will be his eyes. I just remember he said we will be together again as he died in my arms. So I will be strong and I will survive and and I will love him forever.

It must have been the moon because I woke up yesterday and the tears started. I cried and cried and yelled and wandered around all day. I cussed and just felt very alone. It has been 6 months and I thought I was doing fine then it hit me square in the face. I was mad, lost and missing my love just like he left me yesterday and today I am still very weepy and lost I just miss him terribly and wonder how much longer I can go on like this I don't like doing it alone as I am sure many do, I have this feeling inside of me like an explosion is building and I can't control it.

Thank you and hugs to you

Have not been on for awhile but I am sitting here this morning and I wanted to send everyone hugs and a big Thank You for just being here. There have been several days when I have felt very bad and I come to this site and I realize that I am not alone in my journey. Some many have lost their loved ones and have offered support and love through this site and I greatly appreciate it. As we get deeper and deeper into the holidays I feel more and more alone and missing my love more than ever. I just come to this site and when I read your post I feel not so alone so Thanks. We all will make it one day at a time and will be stronger for it. May God bless all of you in the upcoming days and may all of you feel the love of the person you lost cause it is there just feel it.

I work full time as a department store manager and I have been listening to Christmas music it seems like months now and the people doing their Christmas shopping and it just make my greiving even harder to bear. It has been 4 months and I stand there and I listen to the laughter and the deciding and the bickering and I only wish. I can't even get my thoughts together enough to buy gifts for my grandchildren so I guess it will be gift cards this year. I am not going to put up a tree or send cards just not in me to do it. Right now I am glad to be working but I wish it was in another profession.

My husband so loved to have fresh flowers in the house and now after 4 months today I bring home a bunch of fresh flowers every week and I get one of those cards where they sell the flowers and send him a message. Every time I bring the fresh flowers in the house I hear him say oh those are different or I love you too.

It has been 4 months for me and my husbands watch is where he left it when he went into the hospital and all his clothes are right where he left them along with his baseball hats still hanging behind the back door I have not moved a thing and I am not ready to do anything yet my counselor said everyone does this in their own time and you will know when you are ready.

I say the same thing every morning that I get out of bed. Iwas married to my husband for 40 years and he was disabled for 33 of those 40 we had been together since I was 14 and he was always there. We always were together snd we always looked out for each other and loved each other deeply. He got sick and had to be admitted to the hospital and was suppose to come home on Thursday but that morning he took a turn for the worst and was dead 8 hours later. It has been a very hard because I wish I could hold him one more time or kiss him one more time or just lay next to him one more time. Every where I look around this house I see him and the tears flow and I wonder will things ever get better or will I ever get out of this deep hole of lonliness. It has been 4 months and it seems like yesterday and things are still as fresh in my heart as they were the day he died and I am miserable. I did the group and it helped for awhile but I am still lost. So know there is others out there like yourself all struggling with the same feelings and trying to deal with the loss.

Had the memorial service for my husband on Saturday and it was a very long and emotional day. Sat down in the evening and read all the thoughts and prayers extended on this site and it was very heartwarming and I thank everyone. Your comments let me know I am not on this journey alone and I am thankful for this outlet. But Sunday was an angry day for me as I sit here and realize that I was planning on retiring in 18 months to spend all my time with the man that I love. We have just purchased the home of our dreams and put a porch on it with a swing for us to grow old in but I will be there alone. But will I really be alone I have my memories and I smile but these things right now are not helping with the hurt I just miss him terribly. He had 2 dogs that were with him constantly and they as well are in a state of mourning they just sit at his bed or his wheelchair and cry which is no help to me. But we all have to greive

On July 22 2010 I lost the man that I was married to for 40 Years. We have been together since I was 14 and he was 17 never dated anyone else and never been on my own. Seven years into our marriage he was hurt on the job and became totally disabled and this had me going into the world of working outside the house for the first time in my life. We went through 33 years of surgeries and just taking care of each other and now he is gone. No more pain and suffering will he endure. My world is a mass confusion of where do I go next what do I do next and do I have the desire to live without him in it. I am so so lost. People tell me it will take time and do one day at a time but I can't stop crying my whole body aches and I can actually feel my broken heart. I miss him so