In March of this year, I lost the love of my life. Now our relationship was strange as we were divorced and after many years of soul searching we were trying to make a go of our relationship again. However drugs took a toll on his body and he had a heart attack (he was getting sober). We have two children together who miss him and miss what could've been. After he passed we got alot of rude comments about being "blessed" because we no longer have to deal with the things he brought into our lives. I would gladly give all I have to hug him and for our children to spend an hour with him once more. I've had people act as though my pain is not real because we were not married...but my pain is real and I hurt so much. I don't sleep, I either don't eat enough or eat way to much. I don't want to do anything and I get angry very quickly. I cry each night as not to upset the kids, I need to be the strong one. My aches for what we had and what we could've had. I only get out of bed for the kids. (I was fired from my job a month after he passed....long story). I just have no want will or desire to do much. I never knew that this ain existed and I hate it.
