Hello. I am new to this forum.
I am 41 years old. My dad died in 1992. I was 23 years old. At that time, I was a senior in college. I had no family living near me. When he died, he, my mom, and my younger brother were living in Utah. He was buried in Oregon, which is where I was attending college. I stayed at school and waited for my mom to pick me up on the way to the town where he was buried. The day after the funeral, I was taken back to college to be by myself.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was never allowed to grieve with my family. I had no one to grieve with. I've always been seen as strong, and I think all my friends thought I was doing fine. So I pretended I was fine so much that I convinced myself that I was fine. So I have never grieved.
This was all fine until a few weeks ago. A few years ago, I found out thru my dad's sister that my dad was married and had 3 kids (2 boys and 1 girl) before he and my mom married. I decided not to try to find my half siblings because I didn't want to upset anyones' lives.
So a few weeks ago, another one of my dad's sisters (who'd been out of contact with the family for over 50 years)contacted my uncle. I talked to her on the phone, and she knows and keeps in contact with my half siblings. So I have been talking to my half sister for the last few weeks ago. She never knew my dad so has been asking questions, which I'm elated to answer. She has also told me things that she knew about my dad before he married my mom.
So now, I'm finding myself doing some major grieving over my dad. I've spent the last few days crying a lot and wanting him to come back. I've been told that I have delayed grief. It really sucks because my family has already grieved, and I've just begun. It feels like I have just lost him.
Can anyone relate?
