kiwa

Hello all - in particular Cheryl. I have completed my research and would like to thank you for helping to complete my Investigation onto online mourning and memorialisation. This information - your personal reflections on your husband - helped me form ideas and themes for modern grieving rituals that could potentially lead towards more research on the subject. I know your particular methods for dealing with grief did not particularly rely on technology as such, but the fact that you participate at HOV - and contribute to others in their quest through bereavement is reflective of the kinds of behavior and ritual once unavailable. This was the central theme of my research - the fact that the Internet forms a part of larger digital community of mourners - and that these communities are in a sense enfranchised, or united in some cases where their real-life communities have failed them. So, Thank you Cheryl and Thank you Marty. I wish you all the very best and commend what you do for people and each other. Warm Regards Daniel

Thank you so much Cheryl. I have a similar attachment to my late mother's handwriting. It is also very unique to her - she dotted her 'i's' with these ridiculously bulbous circles - and it almost feels current, as though it was written yesterday. I wish I had saved her voice somewhere also. What I find nice is that my sister has adopted my mothers old cell number, so that even when I call it today it seems almost as if I am calling my mother somehow - of course this is unreal but the familiarity is unavoidable. I appreciate you sharing this all with me - Thank you -Daniel

I'm sorry jg, I lost my mother gradually with cancer at 23. I cant imagine how difficult it must have been for you to lose your mother so suddenly. I was working pretty much full time when mum died and I was doing a journalism degree whilst on placement with a company also. I also felt and still sometimes feel lost and sad that my mother will never meet my future wife or kids. She was a wonderful mentor and mother to me and I had some regret for a long time that she would not be able to help raise my own children. But now I realize that she has raised me well and that I am proud of that and her legacy will inherently be passed onto my children through me one day I feel that this will also be true for you. I also had numbness and I tried to stay strong until something would just breach at unexpected times at work or school. In the end I actually deferred school for a while so that I could take time with things and be gentle to myself. You may find that school will help you through things though. I remember too how awkward it was people asking me always 'how are you doing?' etc. I tended to be blunt with them also like Ron B. opting to open up more to people who had experienced bereavement. I felt vulnerable and therefore only safe to open up with others who were vulnerable. It is great you're seeing someone about your experience and it's great that you're on here with us also. I hope this helps a little.. Thinking of you Kiwa

I am so sorry Darl, There aren't enough words to express this enough. I am shocked that your friend has asked you to 'get on with it'.. you get on with things how you want. Please ask her to be more supportive. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a lover. If it means anything to you I still feel numb and it has been 3 years since I lost my mum. I still cry and I still have tough days. In the beginning my friends were setting unrealistic expectations for me too. I just wanted support not pushing and shoving. Your husband sounded like a good man Darl and your daughters sound brilliant too. take your time with things and be kind to yourself. Thinking of you Kiwa

Hi Aquarius7, I like your story. Although it makes you cry and I cry too when I hear 'House of the Rising Sun' (because it reminds me of my late mother), I always like hearing it though. Somehow it reminds me of her and I get a sense of her presence or at least I feel proud and still deeply connected to her. I listened to your link and could imagine you two spending that time together. I like your story. Thank you for sharing that Kiwa