angiemama02

Dear Marty, I cannot begin to find the words to thank you enough for your response. Your words were so kind and reassuring. I followed your links, and I also listened to the radio clip referring guilt and pet loss. You said something that stuck out to me, "Good people feel guilt." Wow. I had painted a picture of myself in my mind as being a horrible, unworthy monster, undeserving of my Speedy's love. Your words have truly lifted me. I do still feel guilty, but I don't feel like a monster. This was a horrible, painful lesson to learn. I would give anything to have my sweet Speedy back here with me. But I do believe that we will one day be reunited, and that is at least a small comfort to me in this difficult time. Thank you again, and God bless. Angela

I am so guilt ridden and heartsick, I can barely breathe. Speedy was a very happy and healthy 13 year old lab mix. I adopted him 13 years ago this month when he was only a puppy. I had Speedy before my husband and I started dating, he has been there through three moves and three children. On Sunday afternoon, my husband let him outside, and was busy doing something, so he walked back in, intending to let Speedy back in in just a few minutes. That didn't happen. He got sidetracked, had to leave, and left him outside while I stayed at home with the kids. I was busy with my nine month old, and cleaning up from our daughter's birthday party the night before. Several hours later, I suddenly realized that Speedy was nowhere to be found. I panicked and ran through the house looking for him before I ran outside to see if he had been left out. There was no sign of him. My heart sank, I immediately called my husband and the search began. We called every clinic, animal control, shelter, anything we could think of, and did the same yesterday morning. While my husband was at work, I printed out 100 small pictures of Speedy and hand wrote his details and contact information on the back. When my husband came home that evening, he and my son walked around handing the pictures to our neighbors asking if anyone had seen him or knew anything. Turns out, one neighbor did see something. She saw him stumbling around, disoriented, and called our subdivision manager to see about him. Speedy ended up collapsing in a man's driveway that didn't care to "deal" with him, and so by the time the manager came to get him, he had passed. He then, placed my precious, sweet furbaby into the dumpster. By the time we found this out, the dumpsters were empty. I don't even have his collar to hold onto. I am so sick with guilt. I don't know if he was hit by a car, or if he died of heat exposure. He was outside and forgotten, probably felt abondoned by his own family, and died, what I can only imagine was a painful, terrible way to go. At some point in the afternoon, I heard crying outside, but it sounded like a little dog, and it never crossed my mind that it could have been Speedy. I think it was though. I think he was crying for my help, and I ignored it. I don't know what to do, I feel so sick, so sad, so heartbroken.