jennys

I think I'm going through this as well with 3 of my friends. I don't think they mean to distance themselves. It could be a reaction to me distancing myself, I don't really know. I just don't feel I can talk to them about how I feel, or even be honest about how I'm feeling. If I'm not happy and fun all the time they don't want to be around me because I make them feel stressed out. They also think I'm crazy because I've been acting weird. I just can't even explain to them what's going on in my head because I'm too emotional. I cry all the time. The weird thing is one of them lost someone not too long ago, so I should feel like I can talk to her, but I almost need her to tell me it's ok. I don't want to drag her down too. I just feel like a wreck and hate everything about life right now. It's hard to be fun when you're depressed all the time. My grandfather died on my father's side, and my father died a long time ago but I never grieved for him. I have guilt about my grandfather and how things ended with him and grief about my dad dying. Things in my life are good but I feel extreme emotional pain when I'm alone. It's almost unbearable. Any family I'm close to is on the other side of the country and those that are nearby I hardly know or don't feel comfortable talking to. There are other people here I could try to talk to but I'm terrified of ruining more of my friendships.