urbabygirl79

I just am so p*ssed off I want to tell people QUIT Telling me your sorry - that is great in all and nice but what I really want to say is you know what!? you have no clue of what I am going through (unless you lost a parent) I know there are worse things in the world and I feel SO selfish even writing this because poor parents have lost there babies and close sisters and brothers. I dont want to compare pain at all. but I am JEALOUS, I want to say IF YOU only knew... but they are never going to know. I am trying to validate I guess. I feel insane with the range of what I feel since tomorrow will be a week since dad has passed. I am so ANGRY I guess I want to give my pain away? Hell I dont know....

Thank you all so much, your words are priceless to me at this time not knowing in which direction to turn. I am glad that these forums are avaliable to us all.

Ron, thank you so much

he was not even 60, we just found out last month that he had cancer, he thought it was back issues but too find out it was a mass pinching his siatica nerve, and every hour after that was more tests and hope fading fast. My Dad was covered in cancer, he had 21 tumors through out his body. No one understood how the man still functioned. He is my hero. It was the 13th of last month, and we barried him yesterday on the 13th of this month. He went through hell. And yet everyone says 'he is out of pain' and this I know to be true I watched him suffered hard and fast. And I am glad that his pain is gone for that is all he wanted. but I told him it was my birthday wish for him to be out of pain - I had no idea God would listen and take my daddy on my birthday last week. I'm lost bitter, devastated, numb and would like to not move. Please any words of encouragement would help me, please tell me anything at this point positive to help me. to *&^^.