Thank you for your suggestions. I know part of this is my "type A" being in control=feeling more "normal". I have experienced the initial trauma, the "lull" and now am dealing with the second wave of everthing with the change of seasons. First it was days, then weeks, then months now a whole season is gone. And I don't think I will be ready to "do" anything like getting this going for a while....but it is something I have thought about and think it would help not only me but other mothers/parents.