six months ago I met the most amazing man, Shawn Decew. He lit up my heart like I never thought anyone could. He made me feel alive again after five years of being a single mother, I never thought I deserved anyone as amazing as him. He loved me even though my life had nothing but baggage. We lived four hours away, both busy with jobs. He was so passionate about life, out in the mountains every chance he got. He met me for a date in Seattle four months ago, we had so much fun. The next day he went out for a hike. He got to the top of the mountain, was taking a picture, lost his footing and fell 200ft. I stil can't believe he is gone. He was my light, my hope, I love him so much. We weren't together long, but when you find a good cookie, you know. I only wish we could have had all the memories, or kids, or just more time. I don't know why he had to go and that is the hardest part of it all. I really don't have people in my life to talk to about it often, you know their life just goes on and they didn't lose this amazing person. Everyday is a new feeling and emotion I didn't know I had, but lately I have just felt mad that you left. It's hard to believe that I will never see you again, your smile and eyes. I love you Shawn.