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linsey

Contributor
  • Posts

    8
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About linsey

  • Birthday 07/02/1985

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    may 24 2010
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    hospice of the valley

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    lisbon oh
  • Interests
    spending time with my son ,camping ,fishing
  1. I had a similar situation only with my mother in law.Every thing was fine between us until nick asked me to marry him and it all went down hill from there. She started a fight at our wedding reception ruining a day that should be remembered as a happy one. Then she started a fight the day my son was born. And then the night before nick passed she had the nerve to tell me I was killing nick with his pain medication and she did this in front of my three year old son. Nick and I loved eachother more then anything and I did my best to take care of nick while he fought his cancer. I just try my best to keep things good between me and her for my son I want him to know his grandma. It is very hard. And now that i am moving in with my parents she does not like it but i just cant afford to keep our apartment right now. I just pray every night for things to work out for me and nicholas I really do not need any more stress in my life it is crazy enough right now. your husbands ex needs to realize you are going through enough to. If she loved him like you do they would not have seperated. I will keep you in my prayers that things work out for you.
  2. our fourth aniversary was two months after nick passed. I went to the cemetary with my son and we took a dozen roses. Your mom may not want to do anything but you just leting her know you are there for her will mean a lot to her. Try to make it a happy day, I know it is easier said than done. I love talking about nick with my son, he is only three and I dont want him to ever forget his dad. Maybe take your mom flowers. my prayers are with you and your mom and I am sorry for your loss.
  3. I am thinking about moving back in with my parents for a while till I get things somewhat situated. Before nick passed I was a house wife and I am having trouble affording our apartment. It is hard to find a job without any experience in anything. I also dont think I could leave nicholas he has been my rock he keeps me going. I just do not know what to do, I never thought there would be a day I would not have nick to take care of us. I miss waking up cooking him breakfast making his coffee, and his call at lunch time and the hugs and kisses when he got home. I can not sleep at all at night without him next to me. I just do not know what to do! my life is a mess!
  4. I know it is hard but you have to try to forgive.You will drive yourself crazy blaming yourself and others.You are going through enough hate is a poison. I lost nick five months ago I knew his cancer was back he was sick but he just did not want to go see his doctor,I wish I would have pushed him harder to go. When he finally did it was to late there was nothing they could do. I think of all the could haves and should haves and it kills me.I can not change it now and neither can you. You stayed together your love must have been strong. Just remember no one is perfect!
  5. I am having a hard time this week. I thought I had my feelings somwhat undercontrol. Hunting season started and nick loved to hunt. I can see him in all camo so excited like a kid at christmas. He would send me text messaged the whole time he was out. I used to complain about watching those hunting shows now I would give anything to be snuggled on the couch watching with him. I miss him so much. I am so affraid nick did not know how much he ment to me.His parents had a hard time excepting that he did not have much time left they did not like the fact i was getting him hospice care. They came to my house one night as i was giving nick his pain medication as the nurse told me to do, for some reason they thought this was harming nick not the cancer.They made it seem like my fault he was dying I am so affraid that they made nick think that. he could not talk well but could still hear us talk to him. I know it sounds crazy but it just goes through my head every day i would have changed places with him if i could I wish we could have had more time there is so much i want to tell him.
  6. I want to thank everyone four their help it is comforting leting my feelings out and having people that understand what i am going through. I just do not know where to go from here my head is a mess I try to keep telling my self nick is in heaven now and would not want to leave such a wonderful place. somtimes i think if only it would have been me and not him he was such an amazing person I dont know how it is going to get any easier.
  7. My son is only three years old I try to explain things to him I just dont know how. He is always asking why dosnt daddy come home. It is so hard to say daddys isnt. I do not want him to forget nick so I keep his picture everywhere. I feel so alone it is not fair to nicholas for me to fall apart so I try to keep it bottled up I am so lonley I dont know what to do without nick he was my best friend. How am i going to raise nicholas alone.
  8. I know the feeling I lost nick may 24 he was only 30 we had only been married four years. He battled cancer for three years. He didnt talk much his last couple of days and i fear he did not know how much I loved him. He was so strong up till the end he still thought he could beat the cancer he fought so hard. I know he had to be scared he just did not want to show it.
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