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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

twinsmom

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Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    4-3-10
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    none
  1. Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. I find I post these feelings just to get them out of my system and am pleasantly surprised when I get responses that hit home and really help, I know I am not alone here. Unfortunately in every day life I feel very alone. I have so many friends but none I can talk about how miserable I feel every day. I get no support from my husband, he's never once asked me how I'm doing with all this and he actually adds to my grief by being so non-supportive. I knew before all of this I should leave, unfortunately now my emotions are so raw I don't trust myself to make the right decision. Thank you again for your kind words. Christine
  2. Is anger part of this whole miserable process? I feel like I'm so mad I could scream, and I don't even know what the heck I'm mad about. My mom died after being sick for only 3 weeks. I took her into the hospital in the morning by ambulance with pneumonia and by midnight that night she was on a respirator and I never spoke to her again. Every day we lived with the hope that the medicine would finally kick in and she would get better, how could she not? I sat there every day, all day, hoping and praying that this would be day she would start to get better, how could she not? I fought for her every day, making sure she was getting the best care possible and they were doing everything they could. Finally, I came to the conclusion she wasn't going to get better, she was fighting so hard to stay with us, it wasn't fair to her. On that last day I whispered in her ear that she needed go, she needed to do the one selfish thing in her life and that was to leave us here and go to a better place. I thanked her for being the best mother and for showing me how to be the best mother to my kids, I told her I am the mother I am because of her. We stopped life support that night and she died within minutes, my hand on her forehead. I honestly feel like I had post traumatic stress during those three weeks and such anxiety in the months following. I felt like a soldier in the jungle waiting for someone to ambush me, waiting for the shoe to drop and for them to tell us it was hopeless or that she had passed. Now I feel more sad and angry than I ever had. I feel like I'm in a paper bag punching my way out, but I don't know what I'm mad about. Certainly not the hospital, doctors or nurses, not family members or myself or my mom. I don't know what to do with it because I don't even know what it is. Just had to vent, it's seems the only place I can. Christine
  3. Hi Everyone, It's been six months since I lost my mom unexpectedly. I just want to know when does it start getting easier? When will I stop crying at the drop of a hat? When will every blond haired woman I see give me that fleeting moment that it's her? When will I stop thinking to myself "Oh, I'll call mom and tell her", just to feel the pain all over? I feel a huge void in my life, I feel so alone. My husband is my weakest supporter, no empathy at all. The day after her funeral it was business as usual and I was expected to be good to go. I know everyone on here has experienced the same type of loss that I have, but I feel like I'm so sad and no one sees it, or they don't care. I have 4 great kids and truthfully they are the reason I stay strong, but during the day I find myself on this site because I feel it's the only place people understand what I'm going through. I have a ton of friends, but truthfully they all have their moms and I think it makes them uncomfortable to talk about because it puts them in my shoes, and they don't want to be there. Sorry to vent, I don't know if anyone has the answer. Christine
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