LostmyHoney

teeek, Im so sorry for your loss. Many of us on this site have had many of the same emotions that you have been feeling. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Rachel

Hi Harry, On Thursday Aug. 26th, I was bringing my Honey home from the hospital. He proclamed that it was time for us to get married. We had thought he would continue to get better at home, but by Sunday night he had the EMTs take him back to the hospital. On Thursday Sept. 2nd he was gone. I dont think I will ever take off my engagement ring! For Christmass I bought 2 rings, in mine it says "Till we meet again" in his it says "In the hereafter", my plan was to get a chain and wear them around my neck but when I set them on his urn (mine on the left his on the right) it just felt right. He watches over them. I told one of my sons that when I die I want them cremated with me so I will have them when we do meet again. Rachel

Well my car made it finaly and I have a job to start going to on Tuesday. (Thank God!)I was going stir crazy. Thank you Susie for the gentle reminder. Gods Peace to all! Rachel

Absolutely wonderfull post Harry Thank You! Loved the pic Marty thanks to you too! Rachel

Happy Birthday Carol Ann ! Wishing you quick healing. Rachel

Carol Ann, Im so glad to hear from you, was beginning to worry... Rachel

I am sure we all wish there were some magic words to help you stop the pain but there just are not. Most of us here would agree that you must just let the tears flow when they may. You have found a very safe place here and very caring people. I am so very sorry for your loss, that you have found a need for this site, and I hope you find some peace in our words. Please continue to come here to post and read all you want. Rachel

When I go to work, I all ways put my hair up in a ponytail, I do a lot of bending and my hair would block my view. My Honey would often coment on how he wished I would leave it down sometimes so that everyone could see just how pretty it is. When my Honeys B-day came around I left my hair down in his honor. It seemed as though my Honey was standing right next to my customers, whispering in there ears untill they were compelled to say something to me about how pretty my hair is. If that makes any sense or not it is how I felt, and there were so many I was very suprised! Carrying out a wish of my Honeys was really very satisfying! I wish you peace! Rachel

I too am so very happy for you! You must be very proud of him, give him my Thanks for his service! Rachel

Hi Pink Im so very sorry for your loss. At just over 7 mo. I know what you mean about the numbness wearing off. I found this site about a mo. after my Honey past, it has been a great help! I hope that you find some peace here as I have. Rachel

Hi Anne, My Honey was a jokester too. Happy Birthday! May you keep the happy memories flowing today! Rachel

Well I have my new apartment all set up and I have been here 2 nights now. It feels cozy. I now live close enough to my middle son so that he can walk here to visit with me, this is good. On the down side, my job transfer fell out. I am now praying for them to fix it, but am also seeking out other options. I really wanted to stay with the company I have been with, I have 90some hrs of sick time I will loose if they cant get me into something. Im not even sure if I would be able to claim unemployment in the event I am unable to get a job. I am begining to really worry that I may be loosing my job on top of everything else. Im also begining to realize that the numbness and shock of loosing my Honey are just now wearing off. To think I had thought I was doing so well... Rachel

Hi Frannie, The "what ifs" ext. are something we have all done. It has been 7mo. 6days since I lost my Honey and I still go through it. Not as often or as strongly but those thoughts do still invade my mind. Its like my mind knows there was nothing wrong with the way things played out but my heart keeps grasping at straws. I wish you peace in the months to come. Rachel

Den Im so glad to hear that you are learning to deal with all of your loss. May God bless you! Rachel

I am just so very sorry for all of your loss ! I wish there were some magic statment that could heal all of our wounds, but there just isnt. You may want to try the loss of a parent or grandparent section of this forum, it seems to get more action. I really hate that your post has been sitting out here not responed to for so long, sometimes just getting it to the right place will help. I hope you havent givin up on us, there really are a lot of very caring people here! I really do hope you find your way through all of what your going through, I will be thinking of you and I hope that you return to this forum it can be very helpfull. Rachel

Thank You Nats ! Your story has helped me. I have been in my new apartment most of the day trying to get cable and internet hooked up and have just now accomplished that. Im laying on the floor typing this cuz my stuff still is not here but I do feel that my Honey has made it to visit me. Thanks again for the response. Rachel

Thank You Kay ! I have secured an apartment of my own and as soon as my stuff arives I will be moving in. My job tranfer will be compleat on the 9th. And I have finaly secured a car transport, though we will have to go to Sacramento to pick it up, its only a 2.5 to 3 hr drive. All in all things are coming together. Rachel

Absolutely wonderfull story, thank you so much for sharing, you put a smile on my face! Rachel

Oh and I forgot may at least one birthday wish come around for you! Rachel

Harry I really like this way of thinking! 2mo befor I lost my Honey he had needed some more mouthwash, I remember thinking, when I grabed the biggest bottle I could, "There now he cant die on me till its all gone!" Im not sure at all where that idea came from but suspect that my brain saw something my heart didnt want anything to do with! It took me 7mo to finish that bottle while alternating with my brand. I couldnt just through it out. Then 2 weeks befor I lost him, he needed some bar soap, but this time I kept forgetting to buy some, I still have that last bar of soap. I couldnt bring myself to get rid of it or use it...it doesnt make any sense but I guess it really doesnt have to does it? I added this link to one of my posts. I caught myself typing it all again. Rachel My link

Well I have made it back to my parents home in Reno and I am glad to be here. I feel as though I made the right choice to come back but just dont feel as though Im "home". "Home" is with my Honey...I knew that back in Dec. 2006, 30 min into my flight back to Reno, and that May 19th he came to Reno and drove back to NC with me (he was my B-day gift and it was the best gift I have ever recieved). One day we will be "home" together again ! Rachel

Oh how I didnt want to hear that nats... Im sitting here in a hotel by the airport and cant sleep though I have had an exausting stresfull 3 days getting packed and waiting on someone to pickup my car (which never happened) so I have had to contact a diffrent transport co. and leave my car with my Honey's sister and Im praying it will work out. The movers that came and got all the furniture that we had bought together were great though. I have my Honey's ashes in my carry-on bag and Im hoping that will go smoothly in the morning. I still have to find an aprtment when I get out there too. I know when I get home my parents and at least one of my 3 sons will be delighted to have me back home and so will I to be there with them. Rachel

Melina, Im sorry that your struggling with yet another issue brought up by the in-law. I wish that people could be more sensetive to our feelings when the speak of ther own lives. I have had this happen all to often. I hope you recover from this emotional wreckage soon ! Rachel

Im sorry you have been having such a tough time this month. I truely wish there was something we could say to make it all better. All I can do is offer (((HUGS))) and wish for you to find peace and comfort in something you do today ! Rachel

Hap I lived in Nevada when I met my Honey shooting pool online. He lived here in North Carolina. I came for a weeks visit in Dec., on May 19th (my b-day) he was in Reno to drive back here to NC with me. He was sick when I met him and we didnt think we had much time left to be together, but we got an amazing 3yr 3mo. He past away Sept 2 2010. It was more time than we had thought we would get but, not as much as we had hoped for. He had this thing for the #37, came from a joke he heard as a young man where the punch line was "I accedently fell on the knife 37 times". He would say things like "could you imagine if we won 37 million of thease things" or if I asked how many scoops of ice cream did he want he would say 37 then laugh and say no just 2. I counted out 37 weeks from the 2nd of Sept and I came up with May 19th, I was dumbfounded. I take it as a message from a higher power that my life is to be celebrated as well as it was time from him to go, to be out of the pains of his earthly form. I will see him again! Rachel