karebare725

Im sorry your feeling this way. Its only my first year but I can kind of understand. I am doing the social thing... only to respect what I think my husband wanted. He loved celebrations. But its forced smiles and interactions, adn im really miserable.

I dont know what to do. My inlaws have never been big on holidays. They stopped celebrating when my husband was in highschool. They only recently started doing it again after we got married and were expecting our first child. Last two years, mother in law had a small dinner at her house. Just us 4, nothing big. We never really got along, and they dony like my mother or family. Should I still invite them over to my house? They havent invited me over yet htis year, but I am aprehensive to ask them first. Also they mention about leaving town for christmas. Did anyone experience these types of issues?

My husband had 3 credit accounts. Not too high, and his small life insurance should cover it. However, I am not a co-signer on the accounts, and 2 he had before we were married. Am I legally bound to pay these accounts? Has anyone experienced this before? I got a letter from a debt collector today regarding on eof the accounts, addressed to his estate. However, I only informed them of the situation a week ago. He doesnt have an estate, and the life insurance already paid out to me. What do I do?

How devastating. I am so sorry for your loss. I can sympathize with you. Its been 3 weeks and 2 days for me. My husband also died of heart failure, which was unrelated to why he was sick in the first place. When they told me, I couldnt believe it. He was only 33. I am still in the twilight zone, and numb as well. This board has been a great help, and very supportive. Its a great place to post and venting you need to do

Tonight I took my daughter to the pumpkin patch. Its been a tradition with my husband and I for as long as I've known him. We took my sister, and goddaughter, and then our own daughter when she came along. Althogether we've gone for like 8yrs. We always go with my best friend and her family. Our kids are the same age, and Shawn's best friend which is our daughter's godfather. So I sucked it up and took my daughter this year even without shawn. It was horrible. I say his friend and mine with their significant others and got so upset. The guys went in the haunted maze and it should have been my husband in there too! While the women complained about having to wait for them. It should have been my husband carrying my daughter on his shoulders, and leading her in the kiddie maze. He should have been holding my hand and keeping me warm. It should have been him and I helping Lilly pick out her pumpkin. This is the first outing that has really killed me. It was horrible and I dont want to do anything with couples for a very long time! Hand holding, snuggling, laughing, and kissing. Just a reminder that I lost not only my soulmate, I lost my intimate partner and best friend. My comrade in arms, and tonight I fell the full effects. God it was awful!

I too am sorry for your loss, and sympathize with how you fell. Because my husband's favorite holiday was halloween, and he passed just 2 weeks ago. I am trying to celebrate it for him. I dont want to go, but I know he would. The holiday sucks for me not because of all the death references, but because of all the happy couples and families.

I had this strange dream the night of his memorial. Ive been thinking about it for 5 days. I feel silly talking about it but it really spooked, and wowed me. So here it goes. In my dream this is an adolencent girl, heavy set and dark complected. She doesnt look like me, but I know its me. She is in the hospital visitng her grandpa who is dying. The grandpa's room is placed in the same spot my husbands was. In the back corner. Then it goes to night time. The little girl is at home, and gets a blanket to bring to her dying grandpa. In the middle of the night she goes back to his hospital room. You can see a man in the bed, but not his face. He is cover up with a sheet/blanket. Anyways the little girl tells her grandpa, "Its ok, just tell them that your ready." And all of a sudden, a spirit/ghost comes from the body. It looks up and there is a beam of light, and the spirit says 'Im ready' and ascends into the light. Just then in my dream for some reason I realize that the man was not my grandpa. I woke scared stiff, and it was warm and heavy in the room. (from no air or something else, I'm not sure) I was so scared I couldnt move from my spot for an hour, and couldnt sleep for the rest of the nite. Im sure it was just my brain playing tricks, but it gives me some comfort to think my husband was passing along a message.

It is a hard experience. We had a memorial for Shawn. I was told it was proper edicate to stand by the door and greet people coming in. I made it through like 5 people before I broke down. I then went and sat down for the rest of the ceremony. My thoughts will be with you. I know that when it was over, I was more at peace, but still severely grieving.

During the day, I can keep myself busy and not think about what has happened a week ago. His service was this past Saturday and was surreal and hard to go through. Since then, I feel at a peace at times, and other times I get crazy emotional. I am on edge, easily upset and short tempered with my daughter. For some reason I cannot go to sleep at night. I am tired but have no desire to sleep. Right now my eyes are burning but I am scared to sleep. I am afraid to be alone still, and kind of have no ambition to do anything. I need to snap out of this daze because shopping has become a crutch, and I shop for dumb things I dont need. I cannot use our bedroom, its not comfortable for me yet, and I cannot bring myself to use it. When I am okay, like talking or laughing with a friend or watching TV, I consequently feel guilty for not crying all the time. Like I dont really miss him. I have to collect his a shes from the funeral home tomorrow, but I am absolutely petrified to get them. I dont think I even want to see them.(his wishes were to have them spread) I am still misearable with out him and I feel guilty all the time for going on and doing everyday things, like I am not respecting him. Also I am worried everytime my daughter gets hurt or goes to sleep, like something bad will happen to her because I didnt do enough.(which is how I feel about my husband)UGH!

I too, am very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband on 10/17 and I feel your pain. My husband got a sick, and was dead 2 weeks later. He and I had only 5 yrs together. I feel like we were robbed of our future. I envy couples on tv and in public. Im trying not to pull away from friends and family who are in relationships, but its hard. I dont have any words of wisdom because I am new at this too. I can only offer my support if you ever need an ear to bend. I have found this board helpful, eventhough I am new here.

I am very sorry for your loss, but having gone through the same ordeal I know the words dont make it any better. I do feel your pain though. I completely agree with you, I am 28 too. My husband was taken away unexpectedly. I feel like I was robbed of our future as well. We wanted 3-4kids, we just bought a new house, and had our whole life ahead of us. I feel like I was cheated in every way. There are no words I can say to make it feel better, but I comepletely understand what you are going through. I too, am envious of couple, and listening to talk about having children kills me. I would keep crying to mom, because thats what they are there for. I personally have been confiding in my aunt, because my mom is still so emotional about the while situation.

Thank you for all your kind words and support. We had his memorial yesterday and it was a bit more of a closure. Afterward we had a celebration of life in our house. Weve been there for just under a year, and he always wanted a big party there, and we never got the chance until it was too late. He would have had so much fun. I am still in disbelief, but going through the motions. I know its real. My daughter slept with his pictures last night. I was so touched. Her best friend and their parents are close to our family. And she gets so sad and disheartened when she sees her friend with her dad, and she walks away to stare out the window. I know she knows something is not right. It really hurts her.

Hi, I am new here. My 33yr old husband passed away 5 days ago. It was unexpected. He had an injury 2 weeks ago but was on the mend, and recovering. And then BAM his heart stopped. I am so heartbroken. We have a 2yr old daughter, and were trying for more. I feel angry and upset, and almost disbelief. Deep down I know he wont come back, but I still find that hard to believe. We had our whole lives ahead of us. My daughter is almost 3. Ive been honest with her and told her he wont come back because he died, he is in heaven with God. She says okay, and found him a star in the sky. But she hasnt asked to see him or anything. Is that normal? Ive accepted that he's gone. But I am afraid to be alone. I cant even sleep in our room. Ive tried but it feels so empty and the warmth and love is gone from the room. I have so much guilt like I should have done more. And I want to talk with him and make sure he isn't angry with me for not doing enough. I am looking for support groups with similar situations, but havent found any. Also having trouble with final arrangements. I just want to honor him. We never had this discussion.