Thanks For this site ,I am willing to try anything to get me through tthis sadness... My mom died April 18th In Florida,She was 68 and had a lengthy illness with 1st breast cancer then it spread to her spine and lungs... I miss her soo much altho we were never as close as we should have been cause my parents were divorced when I was 6 and my Mom gav eme to my gram to raise and kept my 2 younger brothers now46 ,and 44.. I wasnt sure I could make it to the funeral even cause funds were so tight,however my father came thru and paid my bus ticket down to Kentucky, along 32 hours by bus but thats where Mama wante dto be buried ..clos eto her mom ,My gram who raised me and passed 3 year agao... I guess I am just wanting to know whats normal?? I cryy so much now and yet at the funeral home etc ,I was soo strong and seemingly uncaring and never left her side...I feel so drained now, so confused and even mad at God and for me thats not good cause I am Mulsim and I need to do my prayers... How can I when I'm mad at Allah?? and why cant my boyfriend Scott who's 38 be ther for me like I need him to be?I have helped him through so much and now when I need him most ,It feels like he still expects me to be strong...THANK God I have my kids ...they are 28 ,27 ,21 and 14....2 of each...at least they are here for me when I need uplifted...
