Ooni

Does anybody else feel like Christmas carols are mocking them? "It's the most wonderful time of the year" had me leaving the grocery store, trembling with rage. I hate how unpredictable and strong emotions can be now. They were bad enough before.

This will be the first Christmas without my dad. He passed just over a month ago on the day of Canadian Thanksgiving. I have always loved Christmas. But now I feel this horrible emptiness about it. And it angers me how people can keep on with their lives and 'be jolly' when my life is so different and unbearable. It's like when I went to Disney World 11 days after he died - 'where dreams come true.' But you can use it as a grieving tool as well, to heal, to remember. They say in books to start new traditions on holidays. Christmas choirs and carols have always filled me with such joy. I know my dad loved them too. I'm not an overly religious person, but I want to believe that my dad is an angel watching over me. I'm going to try to go to churches and listen to choirs. Let the music lift me up out of myself and fill me with emotion. I have no idea if this will be good or bad, but it's something different. Maybe you could try that? Or volunteering, as heartaches suggested. All the best. <3

I completely understand. I lost my dad very suddenly a month ago. Our friends mean well, but sometimes they just are unable to support us in the way we need. Maybe your friend that made plans to have coffee hasn't dealt with their own grief yet, and they want to be there for you, but find it too difficult and are ashamed. Don't give up! Why not try joining a support group? You might be able to make some new friends and support each other in this terrible time. I am here if you need to talk. <3

I understand your pain. I lost my dad very suddenly about a month ago. We were very close. He was 63, too young. I'm 30. It makes me so sad, all of the things I took for granted. Some days I think I'm in denial - I keep expecting him to be at his computer when I come home. It's like there is this huge gaping hole in my heart, and when I let the reality of the situation sink in, it is so unbearable. I feel urges to do horrible things. I have to fight the urge to scream. Running helps. Need a punching bag. I am so thankful for my mum, and for one close friend that is always here when I need her. All of my other friends have stopped calling. It's like the world expects you to act like nothing's changed, when the whole world has spun out of orbit. Dad was always there for me. Always. I turned to him for advice and support, and he always gave it, and in such a loving way. How can you continue on, knowing that is gone? Just *poof* gone! In an instant. It's so final. I keep feeling like if I did this or did that, he might come back. But I know he isn't coming back. I am so sorry for your loss Hello123. A wonderful dad is impossible to replace. I'm here if you need to talk. <3