llynch

I found this on line and it is how I feel and it looks like everyone feels this way. I would like to just hand it out to everyone and say "here read this! this is how I feel" Widow's Grief I wish my husband hadn't died. I wish I had him back Please don't be afraid to speak my husband's name. My husband lived and was very important to me. I appreciate hearing that he was important to you as well. If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my husband, know that it isn't because you have hurt me. My husband 's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my husband, and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both. Please don't feel you need to remove his pictures, artwork, or other remembrances from your home. They are a reminder that he lived and loved. They don't make me sad. The fact that he's dead makes me sad. I love to see pictures of him and things he was a part of. Being a bereaved wife is not contagious, so please don't shy away from me. I need you more than ever. But sometimes I'm not going to be very fun to be around, or I'm not going to accept your invitation. Please don't give up on me and accept me for being able to do what I can cope with at the time. Just because I've said no to the past four invitations doesn't mean I'm going to say no to the next one. I appreciate you patience with me. I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I appreciate it if you let me talk about my husband, my favorite topic of the day. I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my husband's death pains you, too. Please feel free to let me know things through a phone call, a card or a note, or a real big hug. Please don't expect my grief to be over in this first year. These first few months have traumatic for me, but I need you to understand that my grief will never be over. I will always miss my husband, and I will always grieve that he is dead. I will suffer the death of my husband until the day I die. Please don't expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy". I always think about him and happiness is something that I can't just make happen, so don't frustrate yourself. On days when I seem happy or seem not to be thinking about it, know that some bereaved wives are Academy Award winning actresses. And even if I'm genuinely happy, I'm still thinking about him every second of every day and wishing he was here. I don't want to have a "pity party," but I hope you will let me grieve in the way I need to. I must hurt before I can heal. I will let you know what I need and I'd appreciate it if you just accept whatever it is. I'm working really hard on honoring and feeling my grief, so I heal as well as possible. And know that as I'm healing, large scars are being formed on my heart. I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you. When I say, "I'm doing okay," I hope you understand that I don't always feel okay and that I struggle daily with this new reality. I have many new areas in my life that I'm now solely responsible for, plus grieving the loss of my love, and some days, many days, that is overwhelming. When I became a Mom, I knew that my marriage would always remain, that I'd never be a single parent because of divorce. I never thought about being a single parent because of death. It is so hard to just be the only parent and hold down a full time job, without even adding the overwhelming burden of the grief we all feel. Thank you for your support of my family. We need it now more than ever. I want you to know that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky. I'm not only taking my life one day at a time, but one hour at a time, one minute at a time. Please be patient with me. Grief changes people. When my husband died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before my husband died, and I will never be that person again. Please don't look for her. She's not coming back. I wish very much that you could understand - understand my loss and my grief, my silence and my tears, my void and my pain. But I pray daily that you will never understand.

Thank You all for your support. It really helps. Me and Jody always talked about the day he would be gone. But I never had no idea it would be this hard. I Thank the Good Lord everyday for all my blessings. And this site is one of them. I just wish I could feel better. Is it normal to wake up in the morning with panic attack? Thanks again

Im new to this site like I am new to griefing. I lost my husband Jody Oct 26 2010 to cancer. I miss him more and more everyday. I cannt sleep I cannt eat. Every morning I wake up I get sick and throw up. It was always just me and him. Even when he died. No one else just me and him. He died in my arms Just like we talked about. I held him for awhile and then I got him clean up and dress. His family show up 45 mins after he died. and then left two days before his service. They didnt stay 24 hours. I have been alone ever since. Jody was my best friend, my soul mate, my whole world. I was so busy taking care of him and doctors and cooking and working and now...... well now I dont know what to do. Jody fought cancer for eight years thats right he got it when he was 36 years old. big strong man. On Aug 19 2010 we lost a grandson to a doctor screw up Jody said that was enough. He was tired of doctors and being sick . so now what. Im writing on this site to get some help I guess dont know what else to do. I hate the lonessis. I will never love again I will never be the same. If wanyone is lout there that maybe can help please let me know Loretta lynch