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LisaN

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  • Posts

    5
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Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    12/17/2010
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eckstein
  1. My mom left me on 12/17/10. I feel your pain. I cry every day. She lived with me so I have constant reminders of her everywhere I look. I can't even plan a memorial service. I am at a lose. My husband is really my only outlet to discuss my grief. Many times when I am home, I just go in her room and think about her. I can't believe she is gone. Why? I ask myself a million questions over and over. I have attended the group counseling session and will continue in the future. I also have one-on-one counseling. It is very helpful. I just think it will take you and me time to come to terms with our loss. I'm still in denial and shock. I am so sorry for your loss, too. Lisa
  2. Anthony, you are so right. No child should have to make the kind of decisions I had to. Many of the decisions we had discussed before dimentia set in. I just have to get used to the idea that my best friend and confidante is no longer available. Thanks for your kind thoughts.
  3. My rational side knows what you are saying is correct. My emotional side does not let me get rid of the guilt. Last night I again sat in her room touching her things and crying almost hysterically. Today I am suppose to go to the mortuary to pick out an urn. It's Christmas Eve and it's awful. She hurt herself so many times this past year and it kills me to know the pain she suffered. Just when I thought she suffered the worse mishap, the next one was always worse. She was a trooper at 80 but decided to give up last week. I told her it was okay to go but it wasn't. I didn't know on the last day we went to ER that she would not speak again. My husband and me daughter are with me today and are very caring and helpful. Thanks for writing. Lisa
  4. My mom died December 17, 2010. Besides the tremendous shock and disbelief, I have many why's and should haves very similar to those stated here. My mom lived with me for many years. I was her caregiver for two years with extra help at the end. She so wanted to be in her own bed and use the bathroom while at home these last few days. I was unable to give her that. Who knew her time was so short? In October I had taken her to day care for a few days to get her some socialization. After three days she actually said she wanted to stay. On the 29th day at this facility she asked to come home with me and attempted to pack (she was in a wheelchair). I said no because I did not have home care set up. The next day I inquired with a company to provide at home care. One hour later she fell at the group home and broke her neck. Talk about guilt - She died 17 days later in hospice with the last three days in a coma. I'm home now and still wait to hear her voice or call me on the phone. I jump at every noise thinking it is her falling. Counseling starts next week but what about Christmas? Why did this happen at all? Why didn't I bring her home? While in ER (the second time for the broken neck which broke even further)she begged for food and water and they would not let me give it to her. Why didn't I give her something? She had a stroke or something while in the ER and in my presence and never spoke or regained consciousness. There is more to this horror story but this is all I can say at this time.
  5. My mom died December 17, 2010. Besides the tremendous shock and disbelief, I have many why's and should haves very similar to those stated here. My mom lived with me for many years. I was her caregiver for two years with extra help at the end. She to wanted to be in her own bed and use the bathroom while at home these last few days. I was unable to give her that. Who knew her time was so short? In October I had taken her to day care for a few days to get her some socialization. After three days she actually said she wanted to stay. On the 29th day at this facility she asked to come home with me and attempted to pack (she was in a wheelchair). I said no because I did not have home care set up. The next day I inquired with a company to provide at home care. One hour later she fell at the group home and broke her neck. Talk about guilt - She died 17 days later in hospice with the last three days in a coma. I'm home now and still wait to hear her voice or call me on the phone. I jump at every noise thinking it is her falling. Counseling starts next week but what about Christmas? Why did this happen at all? Why didn't I bring her home? While in ER she begged for food and water and they would not let me give it to her. Why didn't I give her something? She had a stroke or something while in the ER and in my presence and never spoke or regained consciousness. There is more to this horror story but this is all I can say at this time.
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