MistyB

Hi Sharon, My sister just turned 55 and she just passed in February from Colon cancer. My story is so similar,because I am also going through this terrible grief while trying to help my 80yr old mother get through this also! It is the most terrible feeling watching my mother suffer, and me also trying to work through my grief as well. I want to know how you are doing! I hope you are taking some mental time for self. Hugs to you.

Merange108 I sure know how you feel. In fact just yesterday someone ask me how my dad was and for whatever reason I said fine. What? He's gone! Why couldn't I just say that? Because I'm living in this fantasy world and he's still alive. I'm beyond the crying every second stage and I think Ive just become numb. Christmas has been the hardest thing to deal with. A very good friend of ours lost his wife to an infection a few weeks ago. She was a wonderful person with two young children. Afterwards I thought "how ashamed I am for grieving for my dad when this man has lost something so big". It put things in perspective for me that life and death has a purpose. My dad spent 77years on this earth and he was very loved and however much I miss him every moment of the day, I can remind myself how lucky I was to know him for that long. You just do your best as your dad would want you to. You take as long as you need, but I know he wouldn't want you to put your life on hold forever. I send big hugs your way.

Hey Sharla, I just found this sight and have been reading all the touching posts. I too lost my dad to a year long bout with cancer. He passed in front of me, surrounded by his daughters on November 22nd. We put him on hospice the last two weeks of his life and what a blessing it was. His only wish is that he die painfree and that he did. I feel your emptiness and pain. He was the only man in my life that I could truly talk to and know that he always had my back. My sweet husband is trying so hard to step in with my three young sons and fill in those areas that frankly, I just have no desire to care for. I couldn't even decorate the tree, didn't want to. I still can't believe he's really gone! I keep his number on my automatic call list in my cell phone and still today I find myself reaching for my phone to call him about something! Today is a better day, yesterday was terrible. I look forward to more better days, but right now I can't even look at an hour. So, I just want you to know that I'm walking right next to you sister, and I know we have a long road ahead, but my faith will carry me over the bad days and I hope it will you too. I say to myself on those really bad days that my dad would be so pissed if he knew I was sitting around all glum, he'd tell me to suck it up and be the strong woman he knew I was. I know that's what he would say. You keep hanging in there too!