jessiekay317

your words truly touch me and you have no idea how much it means to me to have someone understand me. it takes some of the fear away. makes it easier to breathe. i think i will take your advise with the walks and the talking it out. thank you dearly. you have been a lifesaver. -Jessie

thank you so much. i feel as though i've been welcome with open arms. there are times where i feel so very lost and like im not alive. my grandmother meant the world to me. its hard living without and i have had nowhere to turn. im very lucky to have found a place to get it all out. ive tried writing and it only makes me think too much. ive tried distracting myself and i only lose myself. ive tried talking about the old times and i slip into a depression. i have no idea how to come out of this. this feeling robotic and unreal scares me. im ready to get on with my life but im not sure how to take the first step. -Jessie

I lost my grandmother on August 21, 2009. It was the first person I had ever lost. She was my entire world. I had my crying and I had my pain. But it seemed too easy to move on. Like there was supposed to be more to it than what I had felt. Then about a month ago, I started feeling severely out of it. My lump of feelings turned out to be depersonalization. It was the scariest thing I had ever felt. It felt as though I wasn’t real. I stopped going to school and fell in a depression quickly. I stayed on the couch, and felt incredibly sick. My mom found this website. She said she wanted me to have an outlet and told me that it was a place I could talk about things like this. I asked her what she meant and she said she thinks this is my body’s way of grieving. Is this too long after her passing to count as grieving?