Tina287

It's been a little more than 7 weeks since Michael passed. We have never been apart for more than 3 weeks. I still cry every morning and night but I manage to still get up and go to work. I talk about him a lot. I started to notice that none of his family wanted to talk about him nor do they want to listen to me. It hurt my feelings. None of my family are here with me, so I have always accepted his family as my own. I think I was expecting more support from them. I am a pretty positive person, but it is hard to be cheery tonight. I miss Michael a lot. I know there will be good days and bad days ahead. Maybe more bad ones in the beginning. I could not even figure out how I survived the last 7 weeks. I picture myself in a tunnel with just enough light 2 to 3 ft ahead of me. I may trip and fall but if I keep moving ahead, I'll get to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I read some of the postings and saw that even after 6 months or a year, the pain was still there, maybe in a lesser/different degree. I have to admit that I am a little discouraged right now. I wish it was like a movie where you experience loss on one scene. Then the next scene will say one or two years later... I wish...I wish... I may not understand why Michael is no longer here but I know in my heart that there is a purpose to all this. Thank you for reading this. love, Tina

I tried to go back to work this week. The first two days were ok. I lost it this morning. A friend of his texted me to see how I was doing. I cried and cried. I am still in bed. I have been really busy for the last three days and had not really reflected on things. It's been 3 weeks since Michael's passing. I know that there will be good and bad days ahead. I know you understand the ache in my heart. I am taking one hour at a time.

Thank you so much for everybody's support. I met Michael, my late husband 6 years ago. It was really a sweet story. I met him at work. I thought he was a really kind person. It was a different relationship than what I had before. I became a Christian 9 months before I met him. God was already working in my heart. I saw the beauty of his heart. We dated for a couple of years and got married in 2007. Life was good.I enjoyed being married to him. He had this calming effect on me. He had 2 children from previous marriage. They live with their Mom in a different state. We both struggled dealing with difficult teens but our relationship remained strong. He was a good father. He was pretty good with his hands. He could fix anything. He could do any project I could come up with. He loved his motorcycle. We went on short trips on his Harley. We had a great time. We spent a lot of time talking and planning our future together. We talked about how our child would look like. We talked about how he would be the father that he was never allowed to be for our child. We tried for two and a half years but did not get pregnant. We were going back and forth fertility doctor when he got sick. When he got sick last year, I did not think that he would be gone by the end of the year. I made him promise me that he would try the best he could and not give up. He did not break his promise After 3 different round of failed chemotherapies, the cancer went to his brain. The doctor gave him 4 weeks to live. He was in Hospice for 33 days. God gave us those last days to build more memories and to say our good bye. I was able to be there with him for the entire duration. He passed away a couple days after Christmas beating the doctor's estimate by a couple of days. He was unconcious for a day and a half before he passed. Minutes before he died, he opened his eyes and looked at me for 3 minutes. He tried to talk but could not. I knew he was trying to say I love you. He passed away with a smile on his face as if to assure me that he's in good hands. There was not any doubt that he loved me. I am honored and previliged to have been his wife. He told me before he died that I have given him the happiest six years of his life. He was an amazing man and wonderful husband.

I lost my husband almost 2.5 weeks ago after 9 month long battle with cancer. He was in his early forties. We have been married for only 3.5 years (together for almost 6 years). I am in my late thirties. We have been trying to get pregnant before he got sick. I am devastated. I lost my best friend and the love of my life. I miss him terribly. I can't see anything beyond the next few hours. Early mornings and evenings are hard. I am having problems concentrating and getting things picked up around the house. I have not been at work for the past 8 weeks. I am praying that it will get easier. I just have not been able to digest that I am now a widow.