hazleprew

Hope im not too late to jump into this discussion. I am a personal support worker, I work in a nursing home with the elderly, and i have seen many residents come and go and their families are always distrought. A parent is a parent and its so incredably difficult to go on with life without them. I have to say though the neglect in our healthcare systems certianly doesnt discriminate. My mother was 49 years young, she went back and forth from our hospital and family pysician from april to october 2010. The doctors treated her as if she was a pest, she thought she was going crazy, she had constant headaches, night sweats and nausia. One doctor in emerg actually said to her " im not here to cure you jill, im here to treat your symtoms, so i suggest you take some tylenol and go to bed." After that incident I had enough and was very concerned for her. I took her to the emerg in the city and with 32 hours after we arrived she was diagnosed with lymphoma. That was on October the 8th. They sent her home and told her she would soon be starting chemo. 6 weeks later still no chemo and several phone calls to the hospital as to why with no definitive answers. She was sent up on the 14th of november for a secpnd biopsey and the next day we had to rush her back to the hospital. Her skin and whites of her eyes were yellow, she was having renal failure. They suddenly had a rush on the 2nd biopsey which took them only 3 days to complete, and she started chemo on the 25th. One hour after her first chemo treatment her vital signs dropped and we had to make a decisions to try to help her body with a breathing tube and dialysis, she passed away the next day. I feel as though the health care system failed my mother and family miserably. I have so much anger inside it physically hurts my chest. She left behind a devoted loving husband, three children and seven grandchildren under 6.

I get where your coming from when you say no one compares....i leaned on my mother for pretty much everything, she was my safety net and would show up to events and things that i and my children were involved in when other peoples parents would find it unessescary. She loved my children with all of her heart and would come to play with them daily. We spent alot of our time together because my father and my husband both work away from home. She was so self sacrificing and empathetic. No one will ever compare. and i agree with you, im 25....and i think to myself, im never going to share that sort of relationship with anyone again, i have to live more of my life without my true best friend than i did with? How does one get over that?

My mother also spent the last week of her life in the hospital and my brother sister father and I did shift work to stay with her so she was never alone. After she passed i also found myself reading the text messages from my family. Saying one day she is doing well and resting and the next come to the hospital its not looking good. It has been such a rollercoaster of emotions. I spent endless hours on the internet trying to find out more details of her condition after her diagnosis in October. None of us were aware of how severe it was and we lost her 7 weeks later. I think maybe our circumstances nanasbaby are somewhat similar. I feel as though this is always what i want to vent about and my father isnt handling it very well so im glad i found this website to talk to people who can relate.

Im very sorry for the loss of your mother and I can most certianly relate. I just lost my mother rather suddenly in November. She was my best friend, even writting this wells my eyes up. Sometimes I feel as though its not real still. I almost am not allowong myself to let it be reality. I saw her daily and leaned on her for everything. I feel very empty and lonely even though i have a large caring family and 2 young children of my own, i have this massive void in my heart. I find my mind is occupied because my children are young but i cry every night when the house is silent. I dont understand how things are supposed to get better when i have lost someone with whom i cared so deeply for. I hate that im going to spend more of my life without her than i did with her. I feel the same as you when you say who your real friends are....i did get alot of sympathy from friends, family and co-workers but where is everyone now? People who i thought would at least say something said nothing, but i guess in that regard, they arent really worth keeping as friends. Please vent, ive never lost anyone close to me prior to this...