AmyLea

I was so moved by Tiger Woods open expressions of emotions after winning the British Open. He had such a close relationship with his father who died last year from Cancer. I saw pictures and I was moved to tears. He was reported to have said that he misses his Dad so much. I could so relate to that. During such a tremendous win, his father has always been there to share it. He expressed how he wished he could have been there one more time. He won it for his dad. I have such empathy and respect for Tiger Woods.

I'm at work and do not have speakers on my PC and it still moved me to tears. I've forwarded it to my home email, so I can view it w/ sound. Thank you. My father passed away February 7, 2006 after a long illness. He had dementia and end stage emphysema and I could soooo relate to much of what was said.

Thanks Lori. This will be my first Father's Day w/out my Dad. He passed away February 7th.

Funnyface, I know your post was not directed to me, but wanted to share with you how much it touched me. I sooooo identify with you on the loss of identity that we experience when we lose our mothers. I remember two days before my Mom passed, when I first realized she no longer knew who I was. I backed away from her hospital bed as if I'd been slapped. I vividly remember walking over to a mirror that was hung over the sink in her hospital room. It was such a bizare moment. I looked at my face, even touched my face and thought, "Oh my God. My mother doesn't know me. If my mother doesn't know me then who the h@#$ am I?". I wish my local hospice had a "Daughters Without Mothers" group. They only have a generic "Coping With Grief" support group. I'm glad you were able to find a group geared toward your specific need. Hang in there!

Oh Shell, I hope so. We were married in December and I remember the few minutes I had alone just prior to the ceremony I talked to her. She and I were so very close...best friends after I reached adulthood. I remember asking, "Mom, are you here? I feel as if you are. God I hope you see this. I'm marrying Steve!"

I know this is an older post, but wanted to comment. I agree wholeheartedly with Shell. My mom died Jan 9, 2003, but my grieving for her was put on hold to care for my father who had dementia and emphysemia. He passed February 7th and I'm now bombarded with both losses. You are so right...it IS hard enough to decide what to have for dinner. My job has huge life changing duties and I cannot focus enough to complete the necessary tasks. For that reason I will be leaving my job as soon as my husband secures employment. I'm trying to hang on until then. He has been working onseveral perspects.

I'm having a touch time right now too. Memorial Day wasn't huge at my parent's house but we would get together and put something on the grill and just be together. Yesterday evening as I sat by the pool watching my new husband, my daughter and my 3 step-sons laughing and splashing, I couldn't help but tear up as I longed for my Mom to have lived long enough to see this. My husband was also my high school sweetheart and Mom really loved him. 20 some years later we finally married. I wore her garter from when she married my Daddy in 1950 and I pinned her pearl and rhinestone brooch onto the center of the ribbon bow on my bouquet. That and the candle burning in her memory was the only way I could have her there. I needed those tangibles since I couldn't hug her and laugh at the beauty of finally marrying my first love and the one she had always thought the world of....

Hugs to Sunstreet and Shell. My father passed on February 7th of this year from end state emphysemia and had suffered from ever worsening dementia. We really do lose them twice...the Daddy he once was, then Daddy's body/physical presence. I've realized since Daddy's death that my grief for my Mom (who was my best friend, confidant and biggest supporter) was interrupted early on when Daddy needed my attention and care. Mom passes away suddenly on January 9, 2003. So with Daddy's passing, my grief and longing for my mom has intensified. Once my husband secures work (hopefully very soon) I plan to leave my job which is very stressful and my lack of focus and high anxiety have made my work performance sink very low. I need to take some time to take care of Amy. Hope I can keep the job until I can voluntarily leave it in the time frame best for my family. I remember toward the end, Daddy used to look at me with a childlike adoration when I would enter the room. You have to look for the little blessings w/ Alzheimer's or other dementias. Growing up, my Daddy had trouble expressing love. In the end, he was my child and he loved me with such unreserved abandon. I miss that man, but I would never want him back like he was. Yesterday and today are especially hard.

I'm the "Amy61" who posted above. I could not remember my screen name or password, as it had been so long since I posted. I wanted to post an update on my Dad. He passed away peacefully on February 7th at home with Hospice care. I was sleeping on the floor next to his hospital bed that was in the den. My husband (I married in December) was awake in the same room and shook me awake when he noticed Dad had stopped breathing. It was that peaceful. One moment he was breathing and the next he stopped. It was not always that peaceful. He had slipped into a coma as his lungs began to fill. His dementia was much worse, he had been bedbound since October, but thought he had been out of bed yesterday. Bless him, he couldn't understand why we kept telling him he could not get up. Not much has changed regarding my lack of focus at work. The job is on somewhat shakey ground. My therapist feels I need to give myself time to heal from years of high level stress and find work that is the type that, once you leave, it's done and nothing major pending on your desk left from the day before. I agree with him. Once my husband finds employment, I'll be leaving my job. He has relocated from Texas and has not found anything yet, but he is pounding the pavement. I miss my mom and dad so much. Dad's death heightened my grief for my mom. My husband is very supportive and he came into my life at a time when his support was so needed. I pray I am as supportive of him as he is of me. I try to be. When my husband woke me up to tell me Dad wasn't breathing, I remember immediately being fully alert. I jumped up and leaned over him to watch for breathing. There was none...just the sound of his oxygen concentrator. I laid my head down on his chest and cried as I said, "Oh Daddy, you made it. You finally made it." I climbed up in bed with him and touched him and kissed him. When Debbie, the Hospice nurse arrived, I helped her bathe him and put pajamas on him. We fixed his hair and put his dentures in. He looked the best I had seen him in months. He was dead but he looked good...crazy as that sounds. The face was free of wrinkles and frown lines that told of his struggle to pull air into his diseased lungs. I sobbed as the funeral home drove away with my Daddy. I knew he would never be in that house again. That house where we moved into when I was 4. That house was not a home anymore. It was just a lot of lumber and bricks. I know I am rambling. Just wanted to post after many months.