Hello Everyone,
I really can't believe that I am writing this. In my mind I thought I would have my mom for another 20 years or at least I hoped. My mother died January 22 in her sleep and I woke up that morning to my father telling me that mom was gone. I think I was in shock the whole week. I felt like I was in a bad nightmare and no one was waking me up. I vaguely remember who I seen and what was said. I still find times where I think, did this just happen? She must be just gone away for a bit, then she'll be home.
I am 39 years old and a mother of three. I think I should be doing so much better than I am at my age. My mother was the best grandma who loved spending time with my kids. They had many adventures and I am so devastated that they have lost such an important person in their lives. She had chronic pain for a long time due to her RA but it was nothing that I thought would take her away. I have a very supportive family of aunts that loved her dearly but while i love them, they are not my mom, and I so long for my mom to hug me and tell me everything will be alright. Sorry I think I have lost my mind somewhere. I returned to work a week later and am functioning somewhat but feel so very much alone. While I am lucky to still have my father, he is not my mom. The one who I could tell everything to, whether we agreed or not. I still feel numb and somewhat in denial.
Thanks for letting me share that with you.