cowboy daughter

I decided to go buy groceries last night thinking no one would be in the store on saturday night. Boy, was I wrong. Everyone was buying tings for superbowl parties. I started to cry right in the middle of the store because we've always had a family superbowl party,but no one wants to this year. I thought I was doing a little better yesterday. Even went and had my hair cut though that caused a twinge of guilt. Why should I be able to do something nice for myself when my dad never will? This morning there's a beautiful slow snow falling that my dad would have loved. Several friends have invited me to superbowl parties and now I can use the snow as an excuse. Just want to isolate again today. My mom gave me a stack of birthday and fathers day cards I had given my dad over the years. I didn't know he had saved every one of them. Once again, I just want my Dad!

I, too, am feeling angry along with the overwhelming sadness. 3 hours after my dad died my mom told everyone to go through his things and take what they wanted. I actually yelled at them that they looked like a bunch of effing vultures going through his stuff and ran out of the room crying. 2 days after the funeral my mom told me I need to pull myself together and get over it. He only died 11 days ago!! She's already repainting their bedroom and told me to come get the pictures of his family. They were her family too for 50 years---I just don't get it. I feel like she too is enjoying the widow status and attention while I was the one taking care of him his final days as you were with your papa.

God, I want my Dad! I always talked to him while driving home from work. I just got home without talking to him and it feels wrong. If I was late leaving work he would call to check on me. Who's going to check on me now? I'm a nurse and use to counseling families on grief but now I think I had no idea what I was talking about. I would give anything for just one more day, one more hour with him.

Bellarosa I lost my dad 11 days ago. Yesterday in the shower I just started sobbing and saying I want my Dad I want my Dad. I live 20 miles from work and always called him when I left work and talked to him all the way home. Well, I just got home from work and I feel like somethings wrong because I drove home without talking to him. If I left work late and didn't call on time he always called to check on me. I live alone so who's going to check on me now. Hugs, cowboy daughter---Janet

Thank you Jodi, Yes, we live in the same small town, watched football together every Sunday and have dinner together at least once a week. I feel so alone in this right now. My kids are grieving too, but they have their own young families. It doesn't help that my mom is not a very emotional, sensitive person. She has already packed his things away and/or given them away and it hasn't even been 2 weeks. 2 days after the funeral she told me I need to pull it together and get over it so I feel like I don't even have anyone to share this grief with.

My Dad died January 24,2011. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in August 2010 but his heart was too weak for surgery, so he opted for hospice. I'm a nurse and knew what was coming and thought I was prepared. I talked to my Dad every single day and he was 74 years old and my best friend and a rugged old cowboy. He also helped me raise my kids when their father left and never looked back. He died at home, on hospice, with me, my brother, our kids and our mom around him. I wasn't prepared for this pain. I miss him every minute. I keep thinking I need to call and tell Dad.....but he's not there and never will be. It hits at odd times. I was loading the dishwasher this morning one minute and the next sobbing. I just want my Dad