swedishfish

One of my family members is about to lose her father to a deadly cancer. It's been a long time since his diagnosis, but his health is now on the fast decline and she is staring reality in the face. I have told her that I am here for her no matter what she needs, any time. Is there anything else I can do for her in this time? It seems as if there is nothing appropriate to say in this time, so I know I tell her all the time I am here for her, and try not to bring him up unless she does. Any thoughts? It seems like he only has a few weeks left..

You really think so? I'm trying to put myself in his shoes.. to receive a card from someone you barely speak to... I don't want him to think anything of it except that i'm thinking of him during this time of year, knowing how difficult a time it may be.

Angel, How would you feel getting a note from someone who you still don't really have a friendship with anymore?

thank you for replying. It didn't hurt to ask to get opinion, but I do think you are very right on this one. I am thinking of him, and his family. He knows.

So the time of year is coming again that I know is hard on him... I don't know if it's the right thing to send anything again... He and I talk when we bump into each other, but not on any bit of a regular basis at all.. still awkwardness between us in general.. thoughts?

So the time of year is coming again that I know is hard on him... I don't know if it's the right thing to send anything again... thoughts?

My sister in law's father was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer a little over a year ago. He luckily was able to get rid of the cancer and has been in remission for over a year now. Unfortunately last week, she got the news that the cancer is back and has spread slightly. We all know that with this cancer, it is only a matter of time before he will pass away. We have all been very optimistic, hopeful & joyful that he has been able to be healthy this past year, but now the news has created a reality check. I've told her already that I am here for her for whatever she needs, and I also told her I don't know what to say, so I can just listen. Is there anything else I can do to support her in this time where she really will have to see the deterioration of her dad? Thanks for your advice.

Thank you Mary & Faith.

In it, I wrote "thinking of you during this difficult time of year" and then added "I didn't understand what you must have been dealing with and going through. I am sorry I wasn't more empathetic.. I hope you are finding peace" He thanked me for the card and told me that I wasn't un-empathetic.. he didn't really talk about his dad passing much, it wasn't anything with me... He hasn't reached out to me since and that's okay. That makes sense to him and I just wanted him to know I was there if he needed someone. That's how that went.

Do you all think that getting into a new relationship was a good "distraction" and now that he is back alone he is feeling the pain of loss all over again? especially if his friends said he never really grieved... trying to understand the loss. I know one day I will have to deal with the same thing, for now trying to understand from those who have been through loss.

I think similar to what I did, just let him know you are thinking of him. I think it's important to just let your new friend know you are his friend and are there for him to listen if he needs you. He may talk, he may not, but at least he can know that there is safety in discussing it with you.

I ran into him today and he thanked me for the card. He said that was really nice of me. He seemed to be genuinely happy that I sent it.

Thanks Aquarius. I sometimes question things that I do.. A little bit of "buyers remorse" but whatever the words would be for actions... I felt this was a good thing and had no regret. Hope you are finding peace.

I sent the card out yesterday. He should be receiving it today. I feel good about it. I know he is probably feeling poorly. I hope he sees people cares about him in his times of need. thanks for all your replies.

I sent the card out today. I feel good about it, thanks to all your replies. thank you.