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Tom19

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Everything posted by Tom19

  1. Hi Rae, Hopefully my story helped you in some way. I believe we are the same age too if your username is your year or birth? Im glad you’re happier now and from the posts I’ve read last night you seem to be doing a great job of helping people.
  2. Wow, I can’t believe this topic has so many views. It’s been 5 years since I’ve been here and whilst I’m sick and been up all night I remembered and thought I would come back and see what was going on. It’s currently 05:06am here in England. I’m tired but can’t sleep. In my last post I spoke about being with someone else. This lasted for 4 years before we mutually decided to end the relationship. Thank god it was an easy break up this time because I definitely didn’t want to go through what I did with Fern again. I’m now in a new relationship and we celebrated our two year anniversary last week whilst on holiday/vacation in The Canary Islands. Given how many views this topic has had I’m sure it’s helped many a people. I’ve read it back and it seems so recent still. I can picture where I was when I sent those messages. I even had a tear roll down my cheek whilst reading them. Those feelings that I felt are still there inside me. I still remember how my heart ached and how much I wanted things to be different. With regards to Fern, we don’t speak. We never reconnected on social media and I moved away from home because of work so no longer live in the same city. I do know that she’s with someone else and also has a child now so at least she found peace and I’m happy for that. Remember each person is different and your own feelings/actions will impact on your situation. Hopefully this topic will provide some sort of help and support to others who go through similar to what I did.
  3. Hi Sam, Hopefully you’re doing better by now and things have either improved or you have closure from the relationship. I’m Tom, the guy who Rae refers to up above. If you need to talk then give me a shout, hopefully I can provide some help if you need it.
  4. Wow this does seem such a long time ago now! I hope everyone is well, no doubt people have/are going through what I did back then and may well have read this topic looking for advice on how to deal with the situation. I know I did the wrong thing back then and hopefully people will learn from the mistakes that I made. Luckily my ex was not the one for me. How do I know? Well I've been with my current girlfriend for nearly two years now and she makes me feel a million times more loved than anyone ever has before. Time will heal many a broken heart but maybe it's also just pain caused by being blindly in love with someone you shouldn't be with. Life's funny and a ride so make sure you enjoy every living day that you have, it's too short to spend time chasing people who don't want you. Hope everyone is okay!
  5. Thanks Kay. I guess it is true, time is a healer.
  6. Sounds fun! I love my dog! She's amazing but unfortunately I couldn't take her with me when I moved out of my parents so they keep her. I get back for a few days a month but its sad that I don't get to see her or my family everyday like usual. I did plan on going to New Zealand but didn't in the end. I went to Turkey with friends and also visited Ukraine to go Chernobyl and Prypiat which was an amazing and surreal experience. Also going to Spain again soon and then onto Rome and Pompeii next year too. Indeed! Looking forward to enjoying my younger years, not that young anymore.. Haha. But hopefully Ill have plenty of memories by time I do decide to settle down.
  7. Oh well I bet they keep you on your toes! I had to leave my dog at home with my Mum and Dad so only get to see her every now and again.
  8. Hi! Just randomly remembered this place and popped back to see how things was. It's been over two years now and things are very different. I still think of her every now and again (Birthday, anniversary of her Fathers passing etc). I owe a lot to this place for helping me get through what I was going through. I've met a girl, we met last year and have been seeing each other since April. We're taking it slow and I like that, it's pretty chilled and relaxed. I've moved away from home too so now have my own place and don't live near to my ex. She's also pregnant now so obviously she's moved on too which Im glad. I hope that what I went through will help others in the future, and hopefully I won't need to follow this advice again in the future!
  9. It's a year to the day that Fern's Dad passed away. Yeah, we sorted things out and I got all my stuff back, although it took about 9 months to get that far. I actually just gave up and she randomly popped up out of nowhere over Christmas to get in touch.
  10. Hey. Hope everyone is well. It's been a while hasn't it? I've moved on fully now. Me and Fern actually sorted things out and we met up about a month ago. I've met someone new but it's very early in the relationship. Will see how things go.
  11. Hello! Still haven't got my stuff back, haven't heard from her in a while. I'm far too busy at the moment with other things to bother about getting my stuff back right now. Hope you're all well! x
  12. I actually recieved a text from Fern at midnight last night just saying 'thankyou x' Not a clue why or what she meant by it, but I'm not going to read too much into it in order to protect myself from becoming hurt again.
  13. Yeah, she never used to be like this. The amount she's changed from before her Dad passed and now is massive.
  14. Haha, tell me about it! Still counting the days! Fern actually came into my work today with two mutual friends, I upgraded our friends phone and Fern was with her, but stood at the opposite side of the shop and never said a word to me. Anyway, so I texted her tonight to see if we can sort things now, but something's happening in her life right now that's stopping her from wanting to see me. She told me that she can't do it, and that she knows it's been going on for too long but she can't meet up with me right now. I know a close family friend passed away the other day, so this could be something to do with it, it's not been the best 10 months for her, what with her Uncle, Dad and now this happening, I do feel for her. I want my things but they're not massively important, so to save arguments I just said I understand.
  15. Yeah I'm doing fine thank you, how are you?
  16. From what I've sent her though isn't something you would say if you wanted them, I said I was busy and would text her when I'm free.
  17. We haven't met up because she's messing around and hasn't texted back. She shouldn't have texted the week before asking me to meet if she was still going to be a complete fool about things!
  18. Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing that she says or does can hurt me anymore.
  19. Hey. I texted Fern this morning asking when she was free to meet up this week as I'm off work for the week (we was actually meant to be going away for the week together this week) Haven't heard anything back yet. I'm fine thanks for asking, hope you're as well! Just keep focusing on you.
  20. You need to get away from things that remind you of him, if you have anything of his put it away in a place that you won't see it or be tempted to go looking at it. When I felt it was right, I took down all the photo's of me and Fern and removed anything she ever brought me and placed it all into a box, that box hasn't been touched for two months and it's collecting dust under my bed. It's best for you to remove yourself from anything that will make you think of them but only when you feel you're strong enough to actually do it without it getting to you. It's like, whenever I come onto this forum I can't help but think about Fern, but it's not like it used to be now, you need to let him go and get on with your life. I'm not too sure of your age and how you live etc. it might be so different to my way of life considering how far we're apart but if you're anything like me then go out with your friends as much as possible, the reason I say 'your' friends as well is because mutual friends are not too good to be around at times like these, it never helped me being around people who I would have been seeing when me and Fern was together so I stuck with my own friends that didn't really know Fern and that helped me detach myself from thinking of her. I know you'll be fine but it takes time, gradually you will see yourself becoming stronger and happier as you take each step to recovery.
  21. No, I'm not angry, I'm just over it, I'm fine. I enjoy my life more now and I think I deserve that after being in so much pain and hurt for the past 2 and a half months. I can finally look back and know that when me and Fern was together we enjoyed our times, we had a great relationship but people change and people drift apart. I'll keep our photo's and anything Fern ever gave me because it meant something at the time, plus she was my first real girlfriend and was a major part of my life for 2 years, I will never forget her and will always have some amount of care for her.
  22. No, I don't get a kick out of it, I just don't like her anymore. I did love her, I don't love her anymore. I communicated with her in a friendly way, but I won't let her walk over me or will I let her have a hold on me anymore. The Fern I knew has gone forever, nothing I can do and I'm not going to wait around for something that isn't ever going to come back. I hope she has a good life but I don't want her in mine.
  23. Hello, hope all is well! Had a text message from Fern today, basically saying "Hi, I found you Inbetweeners DVD. When you're free we'll have to meet up and sort things out." So I replied (7 hours later mind) "Hi. Oh cheers. I'm rather busy at the moment but I'll let you know when Im free." I've waited, now she can.
  24. I'm sorry about what you're going through Miri but believe me it will get better in time. At least he's finally turned around to you and told you, that's all I ever wanted from Fern, purely because then I can move on and focus on myself. Since when I had a go at her, 13 days ago, I've gone and lost 4kg or 8.8 pounds in weight! I feel so much better already, although I've still got to lose another couple of stone before I reach my ideal weight! Make sure you hang out with friends, spend extra time with family, go to work, take up offers of doing things with people that you may not spend loads of time with. Hey, I even sit on Call Of Duty on my Xbox playing with people from all over the world, I don't know them, they don't know me, but we talk and it's good fun and it's what I want to do! If in a few months he comes back, then great! But you might not even want him then. Things will get better though, I rarely think of Fern these days, what's done is done, she left me, so I move on. She'll always be in my thoughts and I'll never forget the times we shared with each other. You will be okay, I promise. I know this might not mean much, considering I'm a stranger on the Internet who lives on a different continent to you but hopefully you'll listen and move on with your life and be happy doing what you want!
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