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Pilla

Contributor
  • Posts

    6
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Pilla

  • Birthday January 16

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    April 28, 2011
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Hospice of the Valley, Phoenix, AZ

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://www.butterflyinnorway.blogspot.com

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Bergen, Norway
  • Interests
    Hiking and outdoors, reading science and science fiction, action-packed movies with no tears involved, the people who have helped and loved me and vice versa.
  1. Melina, You could have been me writing that answer. I behaved the same way when Ed was dying of esophagus cancer - we both did. Every downward turn was just a bump in the road. He was telling people he was going back to Norway just 4 days before he died. He was fighting to the last day, and I was fighting by his side. I regret that I didn't pause from fighting to tell him more about how much I loved him. I could have urged him on less, and comforted him more, but how could I believe that the man who was always so strong and invincible could not beat this enemy too? How could I believe that he had his fears to deal with when he was always trying to take care of me? So now I am being strong, and people are impressed with how well I'm doing. I am afraid of what will happen when the long rainy nights descend in a few months, and I am not frantically busy any more. I am so glad to have this forum to come to. Love, Pilla
  2. Melina, I also live in Norway, in Bergen. The memorial that everyone made with candles, flowers and memorabilia in the middle of town moved me to tears. As everyone on this forum knows, we are more able to grieve WITH others who have lost their loved ones, since we have lost, too. Thankfully, the police have reduced the death toll on Utøya. It is so awful for the parents who sent their kids to that camp to learn about tolerance and fighting racism. I hope that all the survivors get the counseling that they will need. Hugs, Pilla
  3. Sad, I have been crying while reading this series of posts. Every week, every day, I have to decide whether to get up and take care of things. Every day, I do. But now it's a weekend. That's when I allow myself to come here. Everyone's posts remind me of things that have happened to me, feelings that I have had. Human contact - some of my coworkers have never mentioned Ed's death. But my next-door neighbors, whom I barely knew, have surprised me. After weeks, I finally steeled myself to ring their doorbell and tell them about Ed. They had been taking care of his pepper plant. To my dismay, I broke down as soon as I said anything. They invited me in for tea. They never ring my doorbell, but they are always welcoming and helpful when I ring theirs. Who knows where the good people are? I smiled at your cats. One of the first things I did to occupy my evenings was volunteer at a cat shelter. The cats are under and on top of the furniture. Most won't let me pet them, but I like dangling my keys in front of them. They lie on their backs and bat at them, or pounce as I drag them across the floor. It's good that you have her cats, isn't it? Hugs, Pilla
  4. Thank you for posting your story Nats. I have been dreading going through Ed's things. It's only been 2 months since he died, but my landlord wants to sell the apartment, so I have decided to look on this as a positive thing. It will force me to sort through Ed's things sooner rather than later. I have been told that there is NO good time to go through your husband's things. This from a woman who, after 30 years, still has her husband's collection in boxes. My husband collected anything and everything, so it will be very emotional to move. I have some good friends that I can lean on here in reality, and new friends here on the HOV site, too. Pilla
  5. Dear Harry, You must be a wonderful teacher. I found your post so perfect for where I am in the journey now that I copied it into Word and saved it. Thank you for taking the time and thought to post it. Hugs, Pilla
  6. Hi Ksbeachum, I am also new on here. I lost my dear husband of 38 years on April 28. He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in Sept 2010. It was only eight months, or it was all of eight months, both. We planned as well as we could. We had our adult kids together for the first all of us were together on Thanksgiving since the first one left for college in the 90's, and had a last trip to visit old friends and relatives in April. I am so glad that we had a chance to say goodbye and "I love you". When the kids came for Ed's celebration of life/memorial, they brought healthy laughter into the room. His friends talked about all of his different sides. But now we have all gone to our own lives. I walk around heavy-hearted. I know that we all have to take one day at a time. I have a friend who is making sure that I make it out of the apartment. Work is good, to have friends and routine during the day. I am sure that your son's wedding will go well. It doesn't sound like you are being saddled with the organization of it. Look for the good things that happen. I see rhododendrens blooming - first, I think, "How beautiful" (happy) then "I have to tell Ed about them" (sad). I guess all happiness will be bittersweet. Hugs, Pilla
  7. lost my soulmate of 38 years in April 2011.

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