This is my first visit here, and I'm hoping to find help for myself and my family. We are dealing with several devastating loses. Three years ago,my mother-in-law passed away rather unexpectedly. My sister-in-law dropped in at her home, and found her mom unconcious, having suffered a severe heart attack, followed by a massive stroke. She never regained conciousness. It has only been in the past year that my husband and I were even able to talk about her...at all. A year ago, I received an email from the son of a long time internet pen-pal. He wrote to tell me that his mother had passed away while corresponding with friends over the internet. This lady was around 20 years older than I, but we had become very close. We sent each other pictures of our families, and confided many things to each other. I could tell her things I couldn't talk to my own mother about. Not long after my friend passed, I began to notice that our family dog was beginning to display behaviors that I had not seen in her since she was a puppy. P.J. was 12 years old, and as it turned out, this was the beginning of a serious illness. Within a couple of months, my beautiful 80lb dog had lost half of her body weight, and was no longer able to stand without assistance. My husband and I took turns lovingly taking her outside whenever she needed to go, and carrying her back inside. Despite the best efforts of everyone involved in her care, we were forced to put our beloved pet down this past fall, in order to prevent any further suffering. Our hearts were ripped out. It felt almost like losing a child. Our daughter was distraught as we were. I was just beginning to be able to talk about her without crying, when tragedy struck again. One eveing in late February, my husband aproached me saying he had tried to call his father all day, but was unable to reach him. Dad was always a free spirit, and frequently "disappeared" for as many as 3 or 4 days without a word. This time, I had a bad feeling. We got in the car and drove to his house, where we found him. My husband had spoken to his him 2 days earlier. Dad had apparently passed shortly after that phone call. My husband, our daughter and I are all completely devastated. I must point out that my father-in-law was more of a father to me than my own father ever was. We are all having a hard time coping this time. To make matters worse,I'm completey stressed at work. I'm having memory problems, and moments where I lose control. A few days ago, I woke up after having dreamed I was told my dog was dying. This set everything off and I cried half the day. I spent the rest of the day nursing a head ache. I feel like I'm letting my family down, by not taking better care of them, but inside, I go back and forth between heavy bouts of grief and feeling overwhelmed and frazzled. The only person I could ever talk to about all of this was my pen-pal. Can someone out there help?
