azbrian

Hi Debbie, I think we have all gone through or still are that feeling of loneliness. Sad to say it comes with the process we go through. If you have not found out already you will find out the friends and family that get what your going through. That will help a great deal. Take care

Very nice

Hi all, It's been awhile and I was never a screamer in the first place. But this morning a song came on the radio when I was thinking of what would have been our 27th wedding anniversary this past Wednesday and I just snapped. It is what it is some days. Right after that my daughter started texting me and then we talked about her school saying she is 150 hours short from graduating when she is set to graduate in November. Life moves on at the right time sometimes.............. Sometime a scream is just a scream. She did ask me if I had a sore throat, she said I sounded a little hoarse. Nah, I am fine.

Cheryl, One of the things that helped me was one of the things you wrote. Feeling good. That to me, was the start to finding my way back. In me at first, it made me feel guilty. But I knew Ruth would not want me staying where I was and I realized I could not stay in the dark place I was or I would never be able to function in a normal fashion. Which would do me no good or our three kids. To be blunt, I was trying to live my life with my dead wife not Ruth. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me. I will never fully understand or get over why she gone. I would have done or given anything for it not to happen. But I have found my own way and I hope all of us in here have found or are working to find their own way out of this. I would love to find out who to talk to about life sucks and life is not fair and get that fixed..... LOL

Glad to hear you had a good time Dwayne.

I know this is a little late Kay but I am pulling for you to get the job !!!!!

Have a safe trip David, hope it's cooler. Did you get any of the massive dust storm I had over here tonight ?

Becky, I was in a fog for about three months. Now it comes and goes but there is a longer period between times.

Tammy, Sending hopeful thoughts for your Mother. Take care

I wish I lived a little closer to give you a hand. Take care

Glad you had a good time !

Hearing you Kay and thinking of you.................

Dwayne, I hope you get healthy soon. I am still impressed with your wanting to become a nurse. It was good to hear from you too Kay. I did scan the posts to make sure you had no more broken bones. How's the job hunting going ?

Hi all !! It’s been awhile since I have been in here and I have been catching up on some of the posts in here. I am sad to see some of you have had more problems but I am happy to see some good things as well. As for me, some of you may remember I am just a little headstrong about how I was going to deal with this….LOL. The “I am going to get through this” turned out to be a very humbling experience for me I have now found my way back and have been moving forward with my life. I have found the one thing I needed most to survive what we are all going through. (For me, I know we all travel different roads) At first I thought I was being selfish trying to focus on getting this back. I slowly realized over time I was not being selfish and it was not only okay but needed or I could keep on going down into the dark place that I was in. I found me. A big part of me disappeared a little over four months ago and I didn’t realize how much of me was just gone. This does not mean I forget, I never will. This does not mean I have moved on. I am moving forward with my life. I was given the time to do this. I was given time by losing my job and being able to spend three months with Ruth before she died. I was given several months to cope and deal with this before I finally got a job about a month ago. Which is going great ! I am now able to talk to single women without feeling guilty. I also finally bought into what Ruth did not want me to do with the rest of my life. I won’t include the two drunken women that came into work and did not want to leave unless I would go with them to have beers in their car. I told them I only had one liver. Yes, they were that drunk. All of this does not mean I am not leaving this group. I am just not around as much. I really do appreciate all of the support that goes on in here. This is what worked for me. I really hope that all of you find or have found what works for you. Take care,

No wait a minute, I changed my mind. He cheated on you and took $50k. That takes you know what to call you I don't care what it is about. I am not a mean person but you are a better person than me Kay. I cannot type here what I would have said to him.