REM

She got a new boyfriend...I'll try to be firends with her. But I can't hang on to her anymore. Especially now. I probably won't post again for a long time. I know I need to meet new people and do what's best for me now. I need a friend here where I live to hug and cry on.

I didn't want to actually talk to her mother about my girlfriend. I just wanted some help for myself. She is a much wiser person than I am and she always helped and knew what to say. I pray everyday. Cry when I have to. I do as much to let out my emotions as possible. I have faith. I put it in God's hands. There isn't anything I can do except wait. I will...no matter the time. I don't want anyone else but her. The emotional tie we have together is stronger than anything. Not even this can break it. It just hurts sometimes, ya know? I'll keep you all updated on the situation. Hopefully after I'm able to get my head calmed down, life straightened out, I can help others' problems too with the things I have learned here. I thank you all for the time and support.

I'm willing to wait again. I've been having panic attacks these past few days. And I wrote it during then. Once a month, I plan to say something like 'thinking of you'. To show I'm not giving up on her. Even with no response, I hope she is ok. However, I did something else. I needed to do it. Only two people could ever calm me down from a breakdown. This is my ex, and her mom. I contacted her mom telling her that my mom and my grandma went into the hospital. Grandma with the 11th memorial of the burying of her husband tried to commit suicide by drinking herself into a stupor. She may have a bad heart now and have problems. My mom has somehting wrong with her intestines, and maybe her liver. I was and am having a tough time with that. My dad is out of town. I hope her mom could help me out with those problems. I shouldn't have done it. But my own grief is piling up on so many levels, I cannot deal with it anymore. All my friends are out of state due to college except a few came back for summer (thank god). Every day makes me afraid. I see a therapist once a week. He couldn't believe it when he heard the news about my grandma. Today my mom now. He will be dumbfounded I bet. I will wait for my gf for as long as she needs. Telling her every once in a while, thinking of you. or something like that. She deserves it. But I need something for me. Some major hugs or something. Too much going on...Why? Why me? Why all at once? Stressed is an understatement. So is sad.

So I decided to text her. I probably made a mistake. I gave her as much power as I could, I said when she is ready, I would listen. I really need her in my life again because I can barely stand life without her. I feel confident that if I can get her to repsond to me, then we will work it out, but with the distance being so long, I don't know if I can intrigue her to take that first step. What can I do? For me and for her? I want ot be casual. I want ot start anew. I want to take our time, but I can't wait anymore. But I can't live without her. I'm torn and I cry everyday. I'm optimistic, but that's all I got going for me. I'm scared. Please help. I'm so lonely and scared.

I want to make her feel empowered, but I also want to talk to her. I want her to know, "When you're ready, I'll listen." She would then know she has someone who will listen, not judge or make suggestions. Just let her get her emotions out there. And she knows that she can count on me and the idea would be in her head. I was thinking about doing it for father's day (which made me cry and hit me like a ton of bricks), but I decided against it. I may text her those words in the week.

I'm going to wait and hold out for about 2-3 more weeks before anything happens. Even though it's killing me. I feel for anyone else going through this. It's such a tough thing to do. I know if I make it through this, me and my gf will be stronger than ever, but it'll be bad for me if we can't work through this. --REM

Thanks for the feedback. I don't think I can email her. I just got a new one, and it may surprise her or her spam filter may block it. I want to send a text or that pillow saying "Thinking of you. If you want to talk, I'd listen." But I don't even know if that is the right thing to say or do. I don't know what to say. I know words don't mean anything, but they could still hurt her bad. How long do I wait to give her time before I even say some simple words to say I'm there if you need me? I know I don't want to force any topic. I just want her to get better, accept things, and be able to know she is still cared about. I just can't think. I've been grieving for these 2 months. I see a therapist. I just want as much knowledge and guidance as I can get. Thank you all for your help.

Do I even dare to attempt to convey those messages? She doesn't want me to call. How do I convey a message to her without her freaking out and getting upset at me? I don't even know if she still loves me. I imagine she does to soem degree, but I don't know anything about the situation anymore. I don't know her emotions.

Hi. I've been reading some other people's posts and this site intrigued me. Maybe I can find some help or people that know more about grief and maybe give some advice. This relationship lasted for 2 years, was long distance (Maine - Pennsylvania), and we were talking about marraige. I am 22 years old. My gf is 21 yrs old. She lost her fatehr about 3 months ago. It was quick, sudden, and her entire family (her mom, 3 sisters) got extremely upset. After the death, I was mourning the loss of her father whom I also loved very much. I was finishing college. I barely passed 2 of my classes. My parents were talking about divorce. I was stressed and upset and grieving too. One day, I told her that I needed to finish this project to pass my course. She argued that I couldn't text or anything. I couldn't due to having to walk 4 minutes to get reception. It was a busy day and I just needed to focus on myself. I said that she wasn't my top priority at the moment. A bad thing to say, but it was true. I needed to finish college and pass my classes. Later on, I said I wasn't sure if I had the spark for her. She talked to me, and I realized I hated the world and everyone in it, was stressed, but still loved her. I apologized, but she couldn't get over it. A week later, she broke up with me, and does not talk to anyone outside her family. After the breakup, we were still friends. I would leave messages like, "Have a great day at work. I'm thinking of you." After another week, she stopped talking to me altogether and said I needed to move on. I would make some girl happy, just not her. I was devastated. I wanted to marry this girl. For 3.5 weeks, I've learned about grief, and I am trying to give her the space she needs. I want to text her and tell her something simple to cheer her up, but I can't think of anything. My plan was that after a month passes, I send her a unicorn pillow pet, so that she has something to give her comfort, and I will attach a note saying "Thinking of you. Hugs, My name". I just remembered I sent a letter, saying emotional stuff. I realize this wasn't the best thing. And she didn't want to hear it, but she didn't send the letter back, so that is a good sign? What should I do? What are your opinions? Thank you for taking the time to read this. I want her back in my life. I will wait for her. 2 months since breakup. 3 months since her fathers death, and she is still in my thoughts and prayers every day and night. I love her dearly. Please help.