drock

I couldn't find the exact story you were talking about. Just alot about peoples theories on the weight of the brain before and after someone dies. I did look up more on this by goggling it and found a few things. I found different takes on it. Some that have experienced it and feels that it was their loved ones spirits that have passed through their body and others that believe it has a scientific explanation like the brain just coping with the overwhelming situation that just happened. While this makes total sense and I'm sure you could come up with some studies on this that claim certain things that support there theory their is no 100% proof that this is what is happening. So what this means is this is just a theory in the end. Just the same as this being explained as the spirit leaving the body and going through a loved one. So the spirit leaving the body is just as viable an explanation as the scientific explanation. It may be argued that certain activity happens in the brain when someones loved one dies but there is so little really known about the brain so who knows what this brain activity really is. As far as proving the feeling the spirit running the body theory, how are you going to prove that? Well the same goes for disproving it! I'm more of a person that looks for scientific explanations for things but after looking for absolute evidence of scientific explanations for things like this I find all kinds of holes. It could be said that people that believe this is the soul leaving the body and entering the loved one is just someone telling themselves what they want to believe. Well when you have no solid evidence otherwise isn't that exactly what the so called scientific explanation is? Since my Mom passed I've rethought alot of things and have opened my mind more. If there is solid evidence to disprove things like this and other spiritual things than I'll believe it but if not then my mind is also open to other explanations. It doesn't mean I necessarily 100% believe in the alternate explanation but just I'm keeping that possibility open until proven otherwise. As far as what happened to me I choose to believe that it was my mother that passed through me. It would make sense because of the close relationship I had with my mom. Yes partially I choose to believe this because it makes me feel better but what if I choose to believe otherwise when in reality it actually was my mothers energy running through my body? What a loss that would be!

Thanks alot loulou! I'm going to go look that up now!

Thanks for the reply Susan and Marty! My Mom and I have talked many times about how I may have sleep apnea when she was here and she told me to mention it to my doctor. My doctor just shrugged it off and didn't think I had sleep apnea but what does he base this on? I came in explaining that I wake up with headaches, feel tired alot, wake up multiple times each night and every once in awhile actually wake up feeling I may have gagged. He just suggest I exercise! Doesn't it make more sense to take the sleeping test to rule sleep apnea out? I'd like to find another doctor but I'm limited in my choices of who I can go to and I have no idea if the next guy is better then the next. Everyone I've talked to that have given me names of doctors I end up finding they are not in my network. Anyways it's an odd thing but maybe that was really my mom still there helping me out! I still feel close to her. I'm always talking to her. I don't know if she hears me but I'm always telling her about the days events and other things like that. Don't get me wrong I'm not yapping to her constantly all day but when something happens that I think she would love to hear about I tell her. I don't know if it's a denial thing but I don't think it is. I just feel like she is still with me in my heart and having these conversations seem to help me alot. Instead of feeling sad and depressed I talk out things with her or tell her some thing that we would both get a kick out of. Then although there is still some sadness mixed in I can smile and maybe even get a little laugh. Who knows maybe at certain times she might be there laughing with me. Miss you Mom! Anyways a little off subject but thanks for the responses back! Even though some people look at me like I'm a lunatic when I tell them what happened I'll stick with the thought of that was my mom helping me out! Thanks!

I'm so sorry to hear about you loosing your mother Kandy. I lost my mom about three months ago and I too was extremely close to her. I didn't have a last moment smile like you are describing but I did have something a day or so before she passed. She slipped into what I think was a comma in her last days. Her eyes were open but no response from her when we tried to communicate with her. My sister at one point closed her eyelids. I was alone in the room with her, standing by her and holding her hand. All the sudden she moved and opened her eyes. She saw me and a big huge smile came to her face. I just said " Hi Mom" and she looked so happy that I was there. I bent down next to her ear to tell her that I was there and if there was anything she wanted to let me know. When I got back up she was back into the coma or wherever she was before. She had that blank look in her eyes. I kind of wish I hadn't bent down and had kept eye contact with her longer but I'll always remember that last smile. She never came too again. Another thing that happened at the end is I actually told her that "She had fought hard enough and whenever she was ready to leave it would be ok" A couple hours later she passed away. When she passed my father and I were holding her hands. I all of the sudden felt a surge of energy that when from my arms all the way up through my head. I equated this to possibly my relief that she was not suffering anymore because it was similar to the sense of relief when something that was really bothering you is resolved. This was much more intense though! I went for one meeting with a grief counselor from hospice and she immediately said that what I felt was her energy leaving her body. Since I'm a skeptical person when it comes to these things I stuck with my first theory. Then I started to think about it and why couldn't it be what the counselor said? There is just as much a chance that this is the explanation as what I had told myself was the explanation. If this was what really happened than what an incredible thing it would be that I actually have felt my mothers energy as she left her body. It makes me feel even more closer to her than I already had been. So although I'll never be 100% sure if it was simply a sense of relief or actually feeling her energy I choose to believe it was her energy! Unfortunately I don't think anybody has an answer for sure to your question. My thinking is that it's just as likely that your mother actually smiled at you as any other theory anybody will give you so why not go with that? What if it really was a smile for you and your searching for another reason. Go ahead and accept it as a smile and cherish it as a special memory.

Ron I also find strength from my mom now. I've had a few instances where I wasn't sure what to do in a certain situation and I immediately thought of what my mother would have told me I should do. Somehow, even when I resisted and though she was totally off base, she would in the end be 100% right. As they say "Mothers always know". She is still with me,helping me become a better person!

Sorry to hear of your loss Susan! I'm going on 4 months without Mom now. This has been a tough journey so far. The rays of sunshine peak through every now and then but it gets cloudy again pretty quickly. Today was the most emotional day I have had so far since my Moms funeral. I don't really cry to often but today I got hit multiple times. Not sure exactly why but maybe it was just all built up. I have just come to the reality that these times will come to me for the rest of my life but as time goes by they will be less frequent. I try to cherish the little things that make me laugh or brings a smile to my face. When the grief comes up I just have to work through it as tough as it is. I try not to avoid it. As they say " one day at a time". I try to keep in mind that if I can make it through this horrible gloomy time there will still be rays of sunshine breaking through just ahead. Kind of corny but it keeps me moving forward. I've learned so far that there is no way around this horrible time in our lives. You just have to muster up the courage and strap yourself in for the ride. Even though it's a crappy ride that none of us ever wants to get onto.

After feeling pretty down things started to get a bit better this week. Of all things a series I used to watch made me laugh. I hadn't done that in awhile. I ended up ordering the dvd set. This gives me something to look forward to each night. Then this morning I woke up and felt pretty down. As I got up I looked outside and it was dreary out. I just felt pretty depressed. I then went to the pharmacy to pick up some medicine I needed and the lady behind the counter asked how my mother was doing. I told her and she was shocked and very saddened. Luckily this was when I was ringing out because I was about to loose it. I shed a couple tears when I got out into the car. It's something because I had visited my mothers grave and felt I had made some real progress with coming to terms with my moms death. I even told her I'll be alright. I do feel I'm making baby steps forward. I also realize that I'll have days that will be better then others and I have more hard days ahead of me. I guess for me I'm trying to suck in the good, or bearable, days for as much as they are worth. When the bad days come I'll just have to deal with them. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that although today is not a good day for me I saw some hope last week. Each laugh or good thing that happens along the way is one more glimmer of hope that things can and will get better in time. I hope tomorrow you'll find something that will bring a smile to your face and bring a little hope to you!

I'm usually pretty skeptical about things like this but this is pretty weird. I suspect that I may have sleep apnea. When my mom was here she said I would snore alot. I would end up waking up gagging and with headaches and things like that. The other night I was dreaming that I had our cat on my back and the cat sort of pushed my left shoulder. Then all the sudden I got a hard push which woke me up. When I woke up I was on my side and I had a headache. I also have allergies so my nasal passages where clogged solid. So there was no cat around and when I woke up I was curled up on my side so no cat was on my back. Again I'm a bit skeptical about this stuff but I have to say it does make me wonder if I wasn't breathing and my mom somehow was there and gave me a couple pushes. The second push felt very string and real. It was very strange!

So sorry to hear that your Aunt died at such a young age! I can't imagine what it must have been like for your Grandma. I don't have any kids but the only thing that I could imagine that would hurt more than losing my mom is to loss one of my kids. I would be blown away if I lost one of my nephews. I just don't know how parents get through a loss of a child. I'm glad you are keeping the memory of your Aunt alive and I for one don't think you are crazy. It's easy to dismiss things like you are talking about but who is to say that it isn't true. Hold onto what you believe and cherish it!

Thanks guys! Nothing much that can be done really. It's just one of those things that we all have to deal with one way or another. Just venting! Thanks alot for responding! Just knowing there are people out there that care is a great comfort!

I was sitting here in the living room at a time where I would usually be sitting and talking with my mom. I imagined for a few minutes what it would be like if my mom was still here. The pit in my stomach disappeared and the depressed feeling was gone. Of course unfortunately this is not the case so it came back again. It sucks to know the one thing that would make me feel better is never going to happen. I know things will get better but I don't think that same feeling I used to have and I imagined will ever be back again. That's kind of a sad thought to think about. I feel I'm a pretty strong person so I'll be able to deal with it but it doesn't change the fact that it sucks. I really wish I got married and had some kids when I was younger. I think it would help to have some kids to pour my love into but it's just me. I do have my dad here but it's just not the same. My mother and I just had a very tight bond!

Yea, that was getting me on the way home from the concert. The few times I would go to a show she would still be up when I got home. She would have to wait until I got home so I could help her go to bed but she stayed up till around 2 am each night anyways. I would also tell her about the show and gab a little. This time coming home and not having her there sucked.

I guess I'm in the bad days with less bad days and I've had about two ok days so far. I'm not a big crier but the lack of ambition and the depressed days really get exhausting. I imagine this gets more bearable as the ok days increase. It's kind of funny I forced myself to go out to a concert the other week. As I said I'm not really a crier so I don't cry much. A balled comes on and it starts to remind me of her. There I was, a guy at a hard rock concert and I'm trying not to cry. I know you should let yourself cry when it happens but there are certain places where for a guy it's just not the place. Being at a hard rock concert and crying when your watching the band is not the place. It was a good night except for the last song which kind of bummed me out. So anyways thanks and hopefully my ok days will increase pretty soon!

Well these weren't the life inspiring answers I was hoping for! lol Seriously though I guess it's a matter of just pushing on with a routine and doing things instead of sitting and doing nothing along with the reality that some days it's just not going to happen. I thought I was pretty good at handling life's challenges and I never thought this would be as hard as it is. I've had some hard things I've been through through my life but this has definitely been the hardest!

How long has it taken you to get your enthusiasm for doing things back? I've made improvements from feeling depressed all of the time to having what I call good days. This is just basically not feeling completely depressed. I still have to force myself to do things. The things that absolutely need to get done I get done but when it comes to things I would normally want to do I can't get enthusiastic about it. For example I play guitar and I try to sit down and play but I'm lucky if I can play for a half hour where I used to go for multiple hours before. I'm just not into doing it at all. I have forced myself to go out to shows or to the park and I don't really feel like being there at all. Most of the time I either sit and vedge on the tube or surf the net. I try to get myself to do things but it's such a chore. Even just taking a shower is a chore. I miss the feeling of being excited to do things or being excited because I just completed something. Even the things that would have me smiling ear to ear before my mom passed does absolutely nothing for me. I have no joy in my life anymore. Did it take awhile for at least a little bit of joy to creep back into your life?