I am new to this site. My vet will be here in an hour, my 19.5 year old orange tabby is ill with what they believe is lymphoma. I thought when I made the appt this morning, I had made my decision. But find as the time is drawing near for her to arrive, I am rethinking. I know I am being selfish. I have had him since the day he was born. Only 6 months ago I had to have my horse put down. I am 53 years old and the horse was the first anilmal in my entire life to put down and now my cat. Why can't they just go on their own? I have cried for days. He just looks up at me and says Mom, I'm so hungry but I can't eat. THank you all for listening. Denise