Hi, i'm new to this site. I'm 22 years old and last year my mum passed away extremely suddenly. On October the 11th I lost my best friend, my support, the most important person in the world to me, my hero. Words cannot describe how much I love my mum. She was and is everything to me. I'm finding it very hard to cope with it. One day she was fine, the next she was gone. It was that sudden, that un-foreseen.
Mum was adventuress, she travelled the world. But had a very hard life, lots of pain and suffering in it, she lost both her parents when she was quite young in the same year. But she always put me and my sister first. She loved us beyond anything, sacrificed so we could have a good life. She supported our individuality, our creativeness; everything. She was just the most vibrant, incredible person. She was only 54. I miss her more than words can describe. I thought she'd be there to see my life.
I don't know how to except that I'll never see her again.
I feel like i'm living in a nightmare and i'll wake up and she'll be there again. So I can speak to her, so I can hug her, so I can tell her everything I never got the chance too.
It was her birthday yesterday, the first one without her here. That was very hard. We also still live (my sister and me) in the flat where we saw mum pass away, and where mum used to live with us. Which makes the post traumatic stress VERY hard to deal with.
Apart from the heart wrenching sadness, grief and emptiness (which i'm sure you're all aware of ) I have developed health anxiety. I'm finding this very hard to deal with.
I was just wondering if anyone else is in the same situation as me and has any advice or help? For the last couple weeks i've been feeling very nauseated and very fatigued. Almost a sick to my stomach feeling. I almost fainted last week as well. I went up to A&E thinking it was something awful (i'm still finding it hard to think otherwise) but the DR's told me it was just extreme stress.
If anyone could share their experience and what physical symptoms or anything really they get, i'd really appriciate it. I feel very alone in my grief. My sister obviously understands, but sometimes it's hard to speak to close family because it's too sad. My boyfriend supports me but he doesn't truely understand the deep, unbearable pain. Neither do my friends. And most of my extended family live over 4 hours away.
Thank you for any replies, and I hope everyone here is doing ok.
